2023 Recap

It’s that time of year again! Reflections on the year past and the year to come.

As I read through past posts I feel such joy that I kept up with the blog over the past year. Granted, I wrote a lot fewer posts this year BUT!!! it’s still going! A simple blog that started in 2020 and is going strong in 2024.

I always get a little sad when I stumble on a blog that hasn’t been updated in years. What happened to the author? Did they lose interest? Did they become lazy? Did they die? So many questions that will likely never be answered.

On the other hand, when I stumble on a blog that’s still going strong to this day I feel a sense of camaraderie and duty to keep mine going. E.g. this blog of sardine reviews I stumbled on back in 2021 that’s going strong to this day.

Anyways—the past year in review:

2023 Recap

  • Winter

    • The most notable part of January was I was dating someone. This was a very new thing where we’d been friends and hung out regularly for a while. She asked me out and I honestly did not know how things would turn out. She was someone I’d think about dating in passing. Not so much with active desire but more of in a day dreamy way. Kind of like you’d day dream about leaving your life behind and moving to Hawaii to become a surf instructor. A fun thing to think about in passing but nothing too serious. It was a novel experience but ultimately did not work and we did not last as friends.

      • Perhaps the moral of the story—do not date unless you’re absolutely serious about your feelings or are willing to risk the friendship.

    • This is the year I also started boxing. Early 2023 was the fittest I’d been in a while. Boxing, playing volleyball,

    • Also started going to church again regularly.

    • Took my first musical improv class!

    • Had a crush on someone and got friend zoned :3

      • Also have not stayed friends with the person. Perhaps the mistake here was rushing my feelings. We hadn’t been friends for long and I somewhat rushed into asking her out instead of getting to know her better.

      • To my defense the time we spent together felt awfully date-y. The day I asked her out she’d invited me to a Stella Jang concert. Before I got there I convinced myself that if it was a 1:1 hang she was into me. If she just wanted to be friends there would definitely be other people there.

      • By the end of the concert (1:1) I was somewhat convinced it was a date and asked her if it was. TLDR she just viewed it as a platonic 1:1 hang out…

    • Went on a road trip to the Northeast with Harry. Boston and Portland (Maine). I can’t really remember why we decided to go but I’m glad we did. I’d wanted to checkout the Northeast for a long time and this was my first time in Portland. We got upgraded to a Mustang convertible and rode out in style.

      • There’s still parts of the Northeast I haven’t explored that I’d like to checkout before I leave NYC.

        • Vermont in Autumn

        • New Hampshire (mostly because I haven’t been)

        • Toronto

        • Montreal

  • Spring

    • Joined an improv team (a sex forward, feminist themed team called Slutprov lmao)

      • Honestly when I first joined things were rough. The first few performances were incredible bombs BUT I think we’ve vastly improved since then.

    • DC trip with Kelvin, Will, Helen and Kelvin’s sister

    • 5 Boro Bike Tour! I’d wanted to do this for at least a year

    • Joined a volleyball team

    • Got addicted to Choco Churro Turtle Chips

    • After my last two disappointing attempts at romance I dove back head first into dating apps. IIRC I’d held out before thinking I had a better chance of success in meeting someone IRL but at this point I decided to fire on all cylinders.

      • After a string of first, second, third dates—some great, some mediocre, all ephemeral—I met Karin in late April.

      • Our first date was at a wine bar. Before our date I was a little unsure of what she’d look like. In every single one of her photos she appeared like a slightly different person. The moment she walked in I was so pleasantly surprised. “Damn I got the best version I could have imagined.”

      • After the wine bar I convinced her to go Karaoke with me. I thought it’d be fun and probably the best chance I had to impress her (with my notable singing ability). At one point I queued up a Korean song and was pleasantly surprised again when she started reading the Korean lyrics and singing along.

  • Summer

    • Europe trip! Edinburgh, Amsterdam and Prague.

      • This all started on a whim when I decided to check out the Edinburgh fringe fest but Edinburgh turned out to be one of my favorite countries. That leg of the trip was inspiring seeing all these performers come together and put on shows.

      • I returned from that trip inspired to work on creative projects of my own.

    • Started to get burnt out with work. Earlier in the year I’d transferred to a new team and we were pushing to launch a new product. I gunned hard with the promise that if I delivered I’d get promoted to Senior Engineer.

      • During the product launch things became rough. On a team of three backend engineers, one teammate was on sabbatical and the other went on vacation. During the most stressful parts of the launch I was responsible for everything backend related

      • On top of this my direct manager was on paternity leave

      • Work became stressful but I managed with a diligent workout schedule to relieve stress.

      • It was only after the launch when I discovered that I would get passed up for promotion. On top of this, our team’s work was being moved to India and I’d have to move onto a sister team that I’d made clear from the start that I had no interest in.

      • I’d never held out too much trust that the company would take care of me. During my time there I’d survived more than three rounds of layoffs. I always took that as a matter of fact. The reality of working at a high growth company that had never turned a profit.

      • But this time around after broken promises and an uncertain path forward I was finally personally disappointed.

  • Autumn

    • Work got worse. The sister team I joined was responsible for crucial paths in our ordering flow. We were also directly responsible for integrations with countless external partners. Any time either of these experience issues we’d be paged to handle them. During one oncall shift I was paged more than 100 times. Night and day.

      • I hated work during this time and constantly day dreamed of quitting work. At one point I scheduled a 1:1 with my manager with the intention of resigning but changed my mind the night before and scrambled to find other topics to talk about.

      • I decided that I wanted to leave on a high note. To leave with some sort of victory instead of feeling like I was running away.

      • After a relatively painless recruiting process (a couple weeks of studying for system design and a couple days leetcoding) I got a new job (upleveled) at a company known for their WLB and their European work style and submitted my resignation with deep satisfaction.

    • Costa Rica trip with the fam

      • It was deep in the rainforest where I finally signed my contract with the new company.

    • Continued dating Karin. We spent a lot of time together. Highlights included a Catskills trip to see the Fall foliage and Halloween where we dressed up like Ratatouille characters

  • Winter

    • Started the new job after Thanksgiving. During my second week we had the biggest layoff in company history (17%).

      • I wasn’t impacted but I was reminded once again to never expect too much from the company.

      • Just do your job, collect your money and find the best parts of life outside work.

    • Celebrated my birthday. Best birthday week in years

    • Back in California now but heading back to NYC tomorrow.

2023 Reflections / Takeaways

In hindsight it was a pretty good year. Reading through my 2022 Recap, the four main goals I had were the following:

  • Finish my second album (I have a list of 4 songs I want to finish)

  • Get promoted at work

  • Date more seriously. I know it’s vague but I don’t want to force anything.

    • Better phrased—date more deliberately. Have a plan instead of waiting for the right person to come along.

  • Figure out where I want to live long term.

    • A general thought lately—I’m enjoying living in NY but it doesn’t feel like I’m building towards anything. Maybe it’s because I’m renting and moving year after year. I want to decide where I’ll build my life for the next 3-5 years.

Of these I accomplished the second and third goal. I took initiative in both career and love life and found better opportunities in both.

Completely missed the first goal.

Still figuring out the fourth goal.

Some themes throughout the year

  • A great life is built. The best parts of my year happened because I actively sought them out. e.g. dating Karin or finding my new job or organizing my birthday or starting musical improv—all the best parts would not have happened without some action on my part.

    • Related to this: continue to seek out things that make you uncomfortable

  • Ripping this entirely from Atomic Habits: "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

    • Related to this—the environment you set up for yourself is crucial.

      • It was so much easier to get in shape when I had a gym at the office that I could easily use in between work. So much easier to eat healthy when I ate healthy lunches at the office instead of eating junk delivery food

  • You don’t have as much time as you think so do what you can while you can. Don’t put things off.

    • A regret from this year was I never visited Philip in Denver when I had the chance. I thought there’d be some chance in the years to come that I’d make my way out there and hit him up but he suddenly died this year and there’s nothing I can do now.

  • Plan for the low moments

    • Early 2023 was great. I was sticking to my habits and making progress in my goals. Then stress hit me and a lot of the habits I’d devised for myself went down the drain.

    • It’s inevitable that you will hit a roadblock. I’m great at planning for the good times but how do I get back on track during the bad times?

      • I’m still not sure about this…

2024 Goals

I’m going to be ambitious here

  • Music

    • Hire singing teacher

    • Release Album by end of March

      • Set up accountability pact—pledge to donate $1000 if I can’t finish my goal in time.

  • Acting

    • Take an acting class!

      • Audition for a role

        • Bonus: actually play a role in something

      • Produce a show

        • e.g. write / produce something

        • OR get a team together

  • Friends / Family

    • Visit old friends in far places

      • Hang out w/ Andrew

      • Hang out w/ Sherry

      • Hang out w/ Kristy

    • Host an event (12x a year)

    • Plan 30th birthday

      • Big birthday bash with all friends I’ve made in the last decade or so

    • Plan Dad’s 60th

  • Travel

    • Cross country road trip

  • Health

    • Curb my internet addiction

      • I’ve often felt that if I’d curbed my over dependency on media I could have accomplished so much more with my life. I want to put that to the test

      • The happiest periods of my life coincided with when I least relied on media.

That’s it for now. Perhaps I’ll revisit this later this year and update it. I want to focus more on my social life. In 2023 I left a lot of it to chance. Waiting to be invited to things instead of proactively setting up events and pursuing people I wanted to get closer to.

At this age I still subscribe to the theory that most friendships will fade. You’ll get married. Build a family. Focus more on family than friends over the years.

BUT!!! Wouldn’t it be great to have some life long friendships? To keep in touch despite the tides of time? Even if it’s not the way things generally go I want to find and hold on to people for as long as I can.

Best of 2023

  • Top Snacks

    • Choco Churro Turtle Chips. My biggest Achilles heel at the moment

    • Lesser Evil Himalayan Gold Popcorn

  • Top Books

    • Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow

    • Daily Rituals

    • Love in the Time of Cholera

    • Atomic Habits

    • Honorable Mention: Yellowface

  • Top Restaurants

    • Atoboy

    • Katsu Hama

      • The old reliable workhorse of a restaurant that I go to when I don’t want to think too much about what to eat. Their miso glaze pork cutlet will hold a special place in my heart for years to come, evoking a coziness and memories of warm times with close friends

  • Top Music

    • I’ll Be Your Home Now - Mac Ayres

      • The first song Karin and I listened to on repeat. The coziness of those nights

    • FKJ Concert

      • First time at Brooklyn Bowl. Amazing visuals and the music was incredible

    • Breathe - Sam Wills

      • No skips to this album

    • Bewitched - Laufey

      • Beautiful album and Laufey is a cutie :3

  • Top Video Games

    • DOOM

    • Dave the Diver

    • Ember Knights

      • Playing with Harry was pretty fun

  • Top Products