A Good Thing Comes to An End / Will’s 30th in Merida / Post Mexico
The last few weeks have been very eventful.
A Good Thing Comes to An End
Knowing that our time together was coming to an end, Karin and I spent a lot of time together.
The night after I arrived in New York we met up in UWS at Flor de Mayo.
Tried lomo saltado for the first time and realizing it was so heavily influenced by Chinese cuisine.
We met up at Raising Cane’s later that week and watched the Harry Potter musical.
The Harry Potter musical was way way better than expected tbh. I tagged along just because Karin was so excited to go (and she got lottery tix) but I was pleasantly surprised
We drove out to Montauk
Saw a big road side duck
Walked around the lighthouse
Went to a casino (Jake’s 58—would not recommend)
Got hotpot at Spring Shabu Shabu (loved it)
Final day walking from LIC to Williamsburg
Stopping at Sweetleaf as we’d done many times before
Walking to Williamsburg as I wondered why we’d never taken the time to explore certain neighborhoods together
Going to Radio Bakery to try some pastries that Karin wanted but they ran out :/
Getting dinner at Peter Luger’s. Worrying that maybe it was too overrated but happy that we went. Happy that it made her happy.
Reminiscing about every date we’d had thus far. Spilling the beans on what we’d been thinking at every stage.
Every moment was tinged with some sadness. The feeling that this would be the last time we did a certain thing—the last time we’d eat side by side, the last time we’d watch a show, the last time we’d drive together, the last time we’d hold hands, the last time we’d listen to I’ll be Your Home Now—cast a shadow on every thing we did.
At first I was sad, then surprised at how sad I was. We’d started out so casually and I’d known for a while that the end was coming. I’d braced myself for the end and thought I’d be prepared. But alas things did not go according to plan.
We spent this last week celebrating the relationship and grieving the end. I’m glad we were able to do that. In a way it felt good to be sad together—that we both felt we were losing something important together.
On a particularly sad day this week Mom called and gently berated me for being so sad. She asked why I was acting like the world was ending. She reminded me that there were so many possibilities to life and that it wasn’t like either of us was dying. It wasn’t like we lived in the olden days and could only ever communicate by mail.
I’m aware that that might just be a way to ease the pain, but I still believe it. I’m not holding my breath for anything to change but I think life is longer than you think sometimes and you never know who will exit or re-enter your life at any given moment.
Will’s 30th in Merida
In the wake of our breakup I wasn’t particularly happy about going to Mexico but the following morning I flew out to Merida for Will’s 30th birthday.
To set the scene—a joint birthday between Will and Jesar where 30 of their closest friends and family would stay in a beach side Airbnb over the long weekend.
It ended up being a venn diagram of people Jesar exclusively knew, people they both knew, and people that Will had invited. I was in the last group. I’d met several of Will and Jesar’s friends so I ended up knowing roughly 25% of the group already
The first day was a complete wash. A part of me just wanted to be alone so I could process the end of our relationship and the last thing I wanted to do was make small talk. I said the proper hellos, kept mostly to myself, and stole away at random parts of the night to be alone.
The second day was much better. After a long slumber (~13 hours) I woke up feeling better. We kicked the day off with some group games. We played red light, green light from Squid Games and some other water balloon games. Afterwards we had dinner (served by a private chef!) and played some drinking games.
I learned some new drinking games from this trip:
Flip cup
I knew what it was but this was the first time playing it
Medusa
Flip cup based game where everyone starts with the their eyes on the table. You countdown and look up at a random person at the table. If there’s eye contact you immediately square off in flip cup and the loser is knocked out. If there isn’t eye contact you’re safe and move onto the next round
Flip cup musical chairs
You play music and everyone dances around the table. The moment the music stops everyone starts flip cup. The last person to flip their cup is out and leaves the table. They choose the next song and when to stop the music
The second day was much more communal and it started feeling like adult summer camp.
The third day we went out to the city of Merida and explored. Kelvin and I split an Uber with James and Aditi (both of whom I felt went from strangers to friends by the end of this trip). We explored the city and ended our excursion with some Mezcal which was notably delicious but way stronger than expected and I was much drunker by the end. We went back to the Airbnb and I got a massage but the table was thin and by the end of it I was pretty ready to be done. We ended the night with karaoke in the pool.
Some reflections on the trip
Though I was apprehensive about going given the timing with the break up—it turned out to be the best thing for me. To be surrounded by people and not too fixated on the break up itself
I’d always seen Will’s friend group as an outsider but was never in the thick of it. Seeing how ingrained he was with the predominantly Indian friend group (as the only Chinese American) / how ingrained he was with the culture was interesting.
On our last night the group egged him on to do some traditional Indian dancing and he killed it. He’d told me before how much effort he put into the dances but seeing it in person was pretty cool.
I asked Shiv who the best dancers in the group was and apparently Will makes top 3
The size of the trip. I was a bit concerned going in that I didn’t know many people but the size of the group became a fun feature by the end. Being able to bounce around between different cliques. Meeting new people. All pretty fun.
Multigenerational
This trip was also unique in that Jesar and Daniel’s parents joined us. This was the first vacation I’d been on with someone else’s parents and it was very cool seeing the intergenerational bond. They drank with us, played the drinking games, ate with us, played volleyball, swam—pretty much everything besides smoking weed
Post Mexico
Getting back from Mexico was a hassle. The winter storm hit us so Kelvin, Will and I were rerouted to Syracuse. I’d low key wanted to visit that area of upstate NY so I wasn’t too displeased. We spent the night there and woke up to a beautiful snow blanketed wonderland.
We decided to drive back (partly out of fear we wouldn’t get back by EOD and partly to enjoy a nice road trip). The drive itself was icy and slow. The rest of Syracuse was not too interesting to me. We swung by So Gong Dong in Palisades Park for soondubu and I had the best dish of 2024 so far there (gopchang bokkeum)
The rest of the week was packed. Knowing it was my first week without Karin in NYC, I wanted to keep super busy.
Swung by the office for the first time in weeks. Also took advantage of their soundproofed music room to work on album stuff
Started my new musical improv class — very fun
Swung by NYPL to volunteer for their recording studio program. In hindsight I’m really glad I signed up for this and am pretty excited for future volunteer sessions
Hosted poker night! This was my first event in my new initiative to host one event per month and it went pretty well
Watched Mind Mangler with Chris and Julia. Also organized this and I’m glad I took initiative there too.
Despite the break up, I feel good overall. My social life is going well. My artistic pursuits are in flight. I plan to keep busy for the next few weeks. I should also focus on my physical health too. I’ve definitely packed on the lbs lately.