2022 Recap

I’m late for my End of Year Reflections!

Due to being at home with family, a crippling new addiction to Dead Cells, and a rekindled desire/habit of producing music again, I’ve put off my EoY reflections but the time has come.

Recap 2022

Here’s a recap of how my last year went

  • Oxnard

    • I started off the year in Oxnard. At the beginning of the year I debated whether to return to New York or buckle down in Oxnard. In the end I buckled down and finished the four songs I had planned on releasing.

    • During this time Andrew also came to visit and we explored LA and went shopping at the Camarillo outlets

    • In addition to producing music I spent the rest of my time cooking learning new recipes.

  • Portland / Seattle

    • Before I made my way back to NY I decided to explore the PNW. I flew into Portland for the first time and explored the city with Andrew while we WFH. Visited Seattle in the same trip

    • I’m glad I explored a new American city. I often overlook how much there is to explore in my own country

  • NYC

    • After bumming around a home a few more days I decided to go back to NY. I felt restless. I also felt stagnant and I wanted to live alone again and focus on producing more music (that didn’t happen 🥲)

    • This time was an adjustment period. I lived in an old roachy Airbnb in Bed Stuy and spent a lot of time escaping by going to the office.

    • I hit up old friends and started playing volleyball again.

    • Juwon also visited from Korea

  • DC to Mexico City

    • Visited Harry in DC with Juwon.

    • Immediately after I flew out to Mexico City to explore with Andrew and Apollo.

      • Mexico City was one of the best new cities I visited in the past few years. Would absolutely go again

  • Queens

    • On coming back to the city I finally got a sublet in LIC.

      • I thought it’d be beneficial for my social life and I’d end up hosting more often but that didn’t happen. My place was far too small.

      • A huge motivation here was to establish a home base and start building a life again (instead of floating around in random Airbnbs). That was a good move on my part and I’m glad I did it. I don’t think I’m cut out for the nomad floater lifestyle. I want to feel more grounded

    • That first few weeks back felt pretty mundane. I think I slumped into a rut and started dreaming of an escape.

    • During this time I also joined a choir. I wanted to meet more people and get better at singing.

      • The end of choir was an inflection point for me. I felt so disappointed and regretful about not trying my best here. I flopped like a fish and wished I could have done better.

    • This period was a low point during the year. I kept looking for an escape and debated moving to London for a fresh start.

      • In the end I decided this was probably just an escape. Instead of wishing for a new life elsewhere I resolved to improve my life in NY—absolutely the right move in hindsight.

  • Korea

    • Korea came at the perfect time. Time with family was exactly what I needed after feeling lonely and lost in NY.

  • New York

    • I did a lot and thought a lot in Korea. I came back to NY in the height of summer feeling like a new man.

    • I resolved to do two things

      • Not leave my life to chance—stop floating around hoping for a good life to happen to me

      • Push myself to try my best in every situation

        • The thought that every moment was fleeting. If I didn’t try my best in the present I’d only regret it when the moment passed

    • In a burst of motivation I joined a bunch of activities

      • took a sewing class

        • I learned how to sew but it was a bust because I didn’t really enjoy the act of sewing. I joined because I wanted to meet more girls but I left with a pair of unfinished pants instead

      • started an improv class

      • started learning jazz piano

    • I’m glad I did all these things. Things I’d wanted to do for a while that I’d put off by fear or lack of motivation

      • Probably the most fruitful thing I’d done in years.

  • Work

    • I don’t like focusing on work too much but it’s worth mentioning. About halfway through the year my old favorite boss left the company and the team collapsed in the wake of her departure.

    • I didn’t think it’d matter too much and chugged along per usual but my morale fell over time.

    • Only recently did I decide to make a change and switch teams. I wish I’d done that earlier.

    • I’ve habitually under estimated how important work life is to my happiness so this is a blind spot for me.

  • Budapest / London

    • Met up with Ray in Budapest. Unexpectedly great trip.

    • It was fun exploring a new city and though I hadn’t traveled with Ray before that was pretty fun too. Budapest was such a beautiful and relatively cheap country. Wouldn’t go again in a while (felt like I did most of what I wanted to do) but I’m so glad I went

    • Met up with other old friends in London

      • Hanging out with Sherry was super fun per usual

      • Got to see Rupert for a quick lunch

      • Hung out with Mimi too

    • London was great but I probably won’t go again for a while (or at least stay fewer days next time).

  • New York

    • Continued jazz piano and improv. Nothing too eventful during this period. Just chugging along

    • Chai and Kristy visited. First time seeing Kristy since pre pandemic.

  • DC

  • New York / Oxnard / Holidays

2022 Misses

I wrote some thoughts on what I wanted out of 2022.

Not a lengthy list.

  • Release music (5 songs)

  • Lose weight (hit 160 pounds)

First, I wish I’d been more concrete about what I wanted beyond just weight and music.

Second, I didn’t hit these goals :(

I released 4 songs.

I didn’t hit 160 (I think my lowest was 170).

Music wise—I never got into the rhythm of making music living alone. I found it best to focus while I was at home in Oxnard. I think the best thing this year would be to set deadlines for myself.

Weight wise—I ate a ton of junk food this year. Got especially drunk over the summer. The biggest issue is figuring out my diet. Something that works for me. Lately I’ve been doing Intermittent Fasting. Hoping that this, along with working out consistently, will help.

This year I got a trainer and I feel more confident about my workout regiment.

2022 Takeaways

Takeaways from this year

  • Timeline everything.

    • If you want to finish anything you have to set deadlines/timelines for yourself. I’m only able to finish making songs when I have a timeline in mind.

  • Don’t wait for life to happen. Make your own moves

    • I had some great moments this year and they were only possible because I took initiative. Nothing great happened to me by chance.

  • If you fear something it’s probably worth confronting

    • Some of the best things I did this year were things I’d somewhat dreaded before.

    • When I actually confronted / did these things I felt like I’d wasted so much time hesitating

  • Happiness is logistics

    • A lot of my happiness was driven by habits / planning. A portion of this year felt pretty dumpy but things improved a lot when I made some logistical changes

      • e.g. getting out the house / seeing someone socially at least once a day

    • I guess this one’s kind of obvious but it’s important to remember. Happiness is not an ethereal, ungraspable thing. It’s something that you can plan for

What’s Next

  • Consolidate

    • Last year was a year of exploration. This year I want to build something more concrete. I want to feel like I’m building towards something. Instead of just messing around randomly, planning for something greater.

      • E.g. I’m doing improv but what’s it going towards?

      • Explore vs exploit if I want to CS it.

  • Compete

    • I grew the most during periods where I competed with others in things I cared about.

      • e.g. acting classes in Berkeley, improv this past year

    • The chance to learn from and beat others is important.

    • I want to seek ways to compete more this year. As an adult the biggest competition grounds is work but there aren’t many opportunities beyond that.

Other concrete goals

  • Finish my second album (I have a list of 4 songs I want to finish)

  • Get promoted at work

  • Date more seriously. I know it’s vague but I don’t want to force anything.

    • Better phrased—date more deliberately. Have a plan instead of waiting for the right person to come along.

  • Figure out where I want to live long term.

    • A general thought lately—I’m enjoying living in NY but it doesn’t feel like I’m building towards anything. Maybe it’s because I’m renting and moving year after year. I want to decide where I’ll build my life for the next 3-5 years.

Lower priority goals

  • Style myself better

    • I want to dress better and groom myself better.

  • Audition

    • I’ve had a nebulous goal of auditioning for roles that I never did. Still a lot of unknowns but I want to give it a try or just stop daydreaming about it.