Woodday 2023
I write from the Ventura Barnes and Noble.
Back in California for Christmas. The last few weeks have been a blur.
The biggest event lately was my birthweek. This year I’ve been blessed to celebrate not once, not twice, but on three different occasions for my birthday.
The Surprise
The Ball Out
Woodday
The Surprise
Karin asks me to meet her in UES. The week before I’d surprised her for her birthday and she wanted to do the same.
We meet at Hex and Co to play board games together. We play Ticket to Ride (I let her win) and Scrabble (I win).
Afterwards she surprises me with a pasta making class at Aunt Jake’s.
I don’t think I’m great at surprises. Or more accurately—appearing to be surprised. I can’t say it was a complete surprise because I’d suggested we go a couple months before. I’d also done a pasta making class before (a team event in early 2020). But as the class went on and we settled in, it genuinely turned into a great experience.
The instructor was a drill sergeant-y Italian man who kept shouting (aggressively but good-naturedly) at the table to get everyone’s attention—roasting anyone who veered off course from instruction. The pasta making itself wasn’t too difficult and overall enjoyable. The wine was delicious. Karin and I inadvertently matched outfits with our black sweaters and blue apron and we were lookin goooood.
After the pasta making they served a three course meal (the lasagna was very hearty and delicious) and we got to take our home made pasta home. Karin secretly stepped away to alert staff it was my birthday so they brought out a candle during dessert and the entire restaurant sang to me. Karin has video of me appearing incredibly embarrassed. That moment was an absolute surprise and I was definitely embarrassed.
This was my first birthday in a relationship and I loved the surprise element and the effort Karin took to organize everything.
The Ball Out
The ball out tradition started with Will and Kelvin where we choose the most expensive/hyped restaurant we can think of and go there for our birthdays.
Past excursions have included Hyun (AYCE Wagyu Korean BBQ—a little too rich but delicious, great naengmyeon too) and Atoboy (Korean tasting menu—really good).
This time around I chose JUA (Korean tasting menu). I’d originally wanted to go to Atomix but it’s notoriously hard to get a rez there (I still want to try it before I leave NY).
TLDR—underwhelming for the price. Maybe I’d overhyped myself reading too many glowing reviews before going. All the food tasted good but nothing blew me away. The most notable dish was probably the dessert where they seemed to have reinterpreted yakgwa into a donut.
Woodday
As I contemplate leaving NY, I wanted a reason to bring all the people I knew together. I don’t know if this is a uniquely NY experience but although I’ve made a good number of friends throughout my years in the city, none of them really knew each other. My social life has always been a hub and spoke model where I am the hub and they are the spokes—all connected to me but disjoint from each other.
In the weeks leading up to my birthday I planned to invite everyone I knew and mix them up.
I hate planning large events but I forced myself to book a venue (Focal Point Brewery in LIC) and pick up some snacks and alcohol for the house party afterwards.
Here’s what happened the day of the event:
5 - 630pm: William comes early to say hi to me. He’d booked a solo trip to Switzerland and was flying out later that day so couldn’t make the party. We listen to music, talk about random stuff and I pitch him my idea for integrating the different social groups coming to my party
630pm: I start predicting and freaking out a little about the scenario where everyone comes a little fashionably late and I'm stuck at the brewery at a table all alone. I message Tim asking if he can come earlier and he obliges. He can come at 710pm. I also get a message from Karin saying she might come later around 8pm but I convince her to come at 730pm. I time my exit so I’ll arrive at the brewery around 710pm
7pm: I’m still seven minutes out from the brewery but I get a call from Helen asking where everyone is. Sweet Helen—the earliest of the group by far—has come earlier than even me. I’d been freaking out about being alone at the party for no reason. For the first ten minutes, we are indeed the only ones there. We catch up (I hadn’t seen her in months) and she casually drops the fact that she got married in the time I hadn’t seen her. A spur of the moment—engagement-less decision in Vegas to tie the knot. I am very surprised but happy for her.
730-1030pm: Everyone else filters in. We start drinking. A surprise visitor makes his way to the party—Jack from improv. Someone I’d liked but wasn’t super close enough to to invite to my party. I hadn’t seen him in months but was glad he came. Several others I hadn’t seen in months show up at my party—Harsh and Mehak, John C, Apollo—and I’m reminded of how difficult it is to consistently keep in touch with even people who live in the same city as you. Something I can definitely work on.
As expected, people tend to sit near people they already knew. Generally speaking the cliques are:
Improv friends
Volleyball friends
Berkeley friends
Work friends
Friends of friends
Around 9pm, after people settle in, I start my plan.
Earlier throughout the party, I’d taken a Polaroid of every guest. I get everyone’s attention, shuffle my deck of Polaroids into random groups of three or four and get everyone to meet up in their new groups.
Even now as I write it all out I’m pleased by how it went. I know it’s not groundbreaking to mix people in a group but I love how randomly people were mixed.
1030pm: People naturally start to slow down and we take Ubers back to my place. A few late stragglers also meet up my place. We drink more, eat snacks (shout out to the corn poppers and elote dip from TJ’s). Since my apartment is significantly smaller than the brewery people collide into each other more easily and the group making becomes more organic. People stay until ~1230am, at which point the remaining guests (Karin, Tim, Kelvin, Susan, Harsh, Mehak) and I throw lyrics up onto my projector and sing Christmas carols (tbh mostly me singing while other people are listening…).
Best birthday week in recent memory.
The lead up and planning was a little more stressful than I wanted but I’m glad I went through with it. As 30 approaches I want to plan a bigger event next year.
In other news
Been eating so much hotpot this winter. I generally love it but it’s become excessive at this point. This winter alone I’ve had it five times. My favorite spot so far is probably Lao Jie hotpot (meat was quality and I was particularly hungry that day). Dolar Shop was a little overhyped. Also did hotpot with the family at home
Went to a winter village for a double date with Karin, Hannah and her new fiancee Andres. The winter village was perhaps the worst thing I’ve done all winter. Embarrassingly poor quality. Their advertised skating rink had a floor literally made of plastic. How can you have a skating rink with no ice?? Mostly a picture spot so we at least got some good pics
Went to Karin’s grad school soiree. Since my company holiday party was canceled (layoffs) I’m glad I was able to go. The soiree itself was nice. Live jazz band. Cheese platters. Best flaky soft salmon I’ve had all season.
Meeting her grad school friends/teachers was interesting. I felt like a little kid following his parent getting introduced to new people.
Immediately after the soiree (UWS) I trained down to Bed Stuy for Nicole’s birthday. Another friend I hadn’t seen in months. Had a blast and ran into an old friendquaintance (Tammy) I hadn’t seen in years.
Literally the day after I also randomly ran into Tammy’s sister who I also hadn’t seen in years…. small world
The following Monday, Nicole, Jason and I caught up more in depth at Rule of Thirds. Beautiful space, good food. Pork jowl was amazing there.
And after all that I am now at home. Life has been good but fast. I’m happy overall but can’t help but feel that something is slipping through my fingers. So much wasted time. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through so many layoffs recently but the idea of efficiency is so top of mind.
And I am generally inefficient these days. Honestly a little too much internet usage. Something to think about in the new year.