Past Few Months: Korea / NY / Oxnard / Back Again

Haven’t written in a while because I’ve been busy and the momentum slipped away. Here’s a recap of what I’ve been up to the past few months.

Back in NY.

In the past few months I’ve gone from NY —> Korea —> NY —> Oxnard —> NY.

Korea unblocked a lot of things for me. Before Korea I felt lonely and stagnant. After Korea I felt energized and directed.

The ride back in the cabin was full of contemplation. Most rides I’d dive head first into a movie binge but this time around I alternated between trying to fall asleep and zoning out while swimming in my thoughts.

General thoughts on the ride back:

  • why had I left so much of my life to chance?

    • somewhere along the way I became the kind of person to wait for something to come to me. Why not see what I’m capable of and reach outwards into the world

  • no phase in life will last forever so strike while the iron is hot

    • there are things in every chapter of life that you can only do during that time. I will never be here with these people, fears, aspirations, circumstances again

Korea

Having gone to Korea back in July the trip feels more distant by the day but here are some memories that stand out from that trip

  • generations. Mom had her birthday during this trip and we celebrated at Jakyung’s house. Gathered around a kitchen table filled to the brim with sushi seeing Grandma, the aunts, the cousins and our own family—felt like a glimpse into the life that could have been if we hadn’t left Korea.

  • the food

    • going to a seafood restaurant by the beach during my first few days in Korea. Drinking soju with the family while Harry kept pouring cheese into the bubbling pot on the table and calling it his cheese soup. Harry and Dad kept eating/drinking out it while Mom and I actively judged them. It tasted pretty good though tbh.

    • getting chimaek way more times than I wanted to. but damn Korean chicken is delicious

    • going to a pocha with dad and getting shwasted. the korean office workers sitting beside us polished off half a table’s worth of beer

  • nightlife

    • going to an international friend’s meetup at hangang. This was my first out by myself since I’d got to Korea and I was determined to experience nightlife to its fullest. After a few drinks at the park we went to a bar in Itaewon which led to Karaoke and eventually to a club called B1. B1 was packed to brim. Dark, hazy, full of smoke (was surprised there was smoking inside and was not a fan) but the music was great and the crowd was super into it. I stayed out way too late and tried to find lodging for the night going from friend to hotel to hotel to no avail. eventually booked a pretty nice place for ~$130 and got a few hours of sleep. woke up the next day and met the rest of the family for samgyupsal

    • going to a water festival with Jakyung. S20 EDM festival where cannons manned by pretty women dressed up as aliens would blast us with water. A welcome respite from the hot humid weather this summer.

  • going to nami island with Dad and Juwon. Taking the zipline from hundreds of feet up into the island.

  • getting nursed back to health by Taewook 이모. Developed a fever towards the end of the trip from too many nights out, too little sleep. She hooked me up with the IV and the fever broke within a few days

  • getting introduced by all my cousins to their most attractive Korean girl friends. Korea in general has very well dressed, attractive people.

  • Korea was super hot and muggy. Mosquito bites day after day. Had to sleep with a fan and AC was an infrequent luxury since the grandparents got too cold

New York

When I came back from Korea (July to early September) I tried to

  • not leave things up to chance

  • go all in when I decided to something

Additionally I ended up doing more activities that I had on my backlog for a while.

Some highlights during this time

  • went karaoke a lot. Started going to public karaoke with my choir group and at this point I get a little bored if there isn’t a crowd to watch me sing :3

    • trying to get better performing in front of other people. e.g. singing more to the people instead of just singing to myself on the stage

  • started and finished a sewing class. Learned how to make pants from a pattern! Though having the end product is satisfying, it’s a lot of work. I enjoyed the machine sewing part. I did not enjoy pinning and cutting the fabric.

  • started an improv class. very fun and we go karaoke after. I don’t think I have the greatest instincts/timing yet but I’ll keep going till I get better

  • met up with an actor friend (Juliette) who gave me some advice on acting in the city

  • started a queens qrew. a group of neighborhood friends in LIC / Astoria to do things in Queens with. So far we’ve been to karaoke a few times and got dinner at Murray’s Cheese Bar (heavy but delicious tomato soup + grilled cheese).

  • went drinking / clubbing a lot more post Korea. I wanted to keep that nightlife momentum going but at this point feel like I went a little overboard. From now on I’ll limit longer drinking sessions to 2x a week.

  • saw Sherry a few times when she visited from London!

Some thoughts

  • having joined these different activities over the past few months—people here want to hang out more often than not. Just takes someone to take initiative and organize something

  • neighborhood friends are the best friends. In previous years living in Prospect Heights and East Village I never invested much in meeting people that lived close to me but that’s the move!!! So much to explore in Queens anyways (Queens is the most underrated borough).

  • I gotta get rid of my iPad and sleep better. My worst habit right now is watching TV in bed before going to sleep. Definitely eats into my sleep time.

    • At my age (27) I’m at cusp between Adult Lite and Adult Prime. Gotta shed the childish habits of my youth as I blossom into the GRAND ADULT I AM MEANT TO BE! @IILFHLISUEHFILU

    • Keep a clear mind in general. Between Reddit and Tiktok and streaming the amount of time I keep a clear mind shrinks day by day

Oxnard

Oxnard was a calm oasis after a few weeks back in NY.

Chilled with family. Ate too much. Played way too many video games (Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime and Borderlands 3) with Harry. Got Mexican food. Went to the beach. Went to Jaebudo (we really gotta pick some new spots in LA). Went to a restaurant (Kimbap Paradise) where they delivered the food on a little robot that knew exactly which table to go to. When the robot kept skipping our table and a human woman delivered our food instead we must have looked disappointed. She apologized for the lack of novelty in her service.

Felt so good to be back with family. We’ve been through some ups and downs recently but this time around felt golden.

New York Again

Came back to my new apartment in LIC. Kelvin’s staying with me for a while as he figures out his housing issue.

Still in the process of settling back in.

Started my jazz piano class where we hit the ground running with sheet music (my reading skills are very rusty), music theory and rhythm exercises (working on swing).

At this point in my NY life I feel like I’ve done a lot

  • volleyball

  • improv

  • choir

  • sewing

  • open mics

  • church

  • and now jazz piano

Fun so far—absolutely. But I want to transition at some point from exploration —> exploitation. I’m starting to become a jack of all trades but where’s the depth? To dive deep into some domain other than work. That’s what I want right now.

Also on a practical level—as I wfh more and more—I spend way too much time indoors.

I want a WFH crew where we work together from different cafes. Have already done this a few times with my neighborhood friend Aastha so it’ll be good to expand.

In Other News

I’ve been reading more biographies these days. Finished Crying in the H Mart—way sadder than I expected. I thought it’d be funny little essays about food and H Mart but it’s a heart wrenching story about the writer dealing with her mom’s cancer. Very well written but not a big favorite (probably since I was expecting something so different).

Also read Dave Chang’s Eat a Peach. I’m a sucker for food related content (just watched The Bear and really really enjoyed that. Top three TV shows of the year for me) and this one hit its mark. He writes well and has an interesting story. Real page turner but weeks after having read it I can’t remember many of the specific details (maybe that’s a personal problem though).

Lastly I’ve been reading Genius of Place, a biography about Frederick Law Olmsted (a super accomplished guy from the 1800s who lived many different lives and also was responsible for creating Central Park). Very interesting read so far. Very cool to read about how NY was in the past (and comparing it to the present day). Interesting to note how lost he seemed in his early days (resonates a lot) and how he seemed to stumble his way into interesting opportunities. This dude went from sailor to farmer to journalist to landscape architect to running that time’s equivalent to the Red Cross to running a gold mine to Yosemite conservationist (and that’s only up to half of the biography so far).

The author notes that back in the day social circles were much smaller and more close knit. That can explain how he gets so many interesting opportunities. But they also note how capable and intuitive and exacting he was as a person which can also explain his success.