Hater Gonna Hate & Ainters gonna Aint / NY Schedule

Note: this one was in draft mode for a while. Should have published it about a while back. I’m catching up on writing this week…

More than two weeks since my last post 😳

I kind of planned it this way. Thought it was too structured to post regularly every week and wanted to just update whenever I felt like it.

That seems to have worked. Now I’m loose as a goose but the downside is it feels like life is slipping right out of me like water out of a busted hydrant. All unaccounted for.

Maybe I’m the kind of person that needs a regular structured session to reflect on my life as it passes me by. To P R O C E S S.

Hater Gonna Hate & Ainters gonna Aint

If you asked me how I feel right now right in this moment about the last few weeks I’ve been back in New York I’d say I’m mildly depressed with spurts of optimism here and there.

I catch myself becoming more pessimistic lately. Easily irritated. A couple days ago I had to drop my cousin Juwon off at her Airbnb. After about a week of great weather NY caught us off guard and bitch slapped us with a cold front. Kind of like Will Smith bitch slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars (wonder how long that reference will last… it’s huge right now). Sub 30 degrees. Freezing. Waiting for the G train that never seems to come. Waiting for a nice hot shower knowing that my current Airbnb is pretty old and the shower is nothing like that.

A deep anger coming up from nowhere. Firing off a flurry of curses to blow off steam.

What the FUUUUUCK is up with this goddamn stupid shit G train. What the fuck is this bullshit. Why the fuck is it so goddamn cold all of a sudden. fuck this shit

I just want to complain all the time. I love complaining these days.

It’s too cold.
My apartment is too old.
Rent prices are too damn high
Too far. I’m commuting all the time now.
Almost living on the train. Too many sketchy people on the subway.
I’m too lonely
These people I’m meeting are all so boring*
Too tired

But when I write it out like this I realize my list of complaints is pretty small. Most of this stuff is within my power to change and I’m just being a lil bitch by not changing my ways.

As much as NY has made me irritated at times I still think most of my life is within my hands. And there are moments of deep gratitude that make me not want to move away just yet.

* This is a complaint I’ve had for a while but I’m starting to change my mind on this. People are boring because the conversation is boring. The conversation is boring because we’re talking about mundane bullshit. I think that once you peel back the first few layers of the onion you can often find gold. Everyone is interesting in some way. Right? RIGHT???!??! Even the most boring person in the world is by virtue interesting. What could have possibly happened (or not happened) to that person thus far to lead them to become so boring?

NY Schedule

In terms of day to day life I somehow ended up back into a commuter life. Here’s what an average day looks like

Wake up around 10 or 11 (sorry 🥲) and knock out a few meetings
Leave for the office around 12 or 1PM (bed stuy to fidi). This is necessary because my Airbnb doesn’t have much sunlight and I’d go crazy staying here all day
- Always make sure to get lunch. I don’t know if this is confirmed is but apparently our office has a Michelin star chef on lunch duty. Food’s much better. Is it Michelin star quality? Maybe on a good day.
- MWF pop into the office gym when I get down time so I can get S W O L E
Work until 6 or 7 PM.
Wednesday I go to choir at 6PM
Fridays I play volleyball after work
Every other day I kinda fill in the gaps and either see people or go to a meetup
Then I get home and just watch TV for hours straight. Very unhealthy I know.
- I think I watch TV because my apt is too dark and quiet and I want to fill that void with something
- Or also because I’m dead tired from roaming around and can’t think of doing anything else

Some thoughts here

I spend a lot of time on the train
Ideally should shift schedule to wake and sleep earlier. More energy for my hobbies (have barely written any lyrics over the past few weeks) and less time spent alone in the apartment doing nothing
I’m pretty happy at all the physical activity I’m getting. Gym MWF and Volleyball on weekends!
- The power of convenience. Having a gym right in my office makes it so incredibly easy to be consistent.
- One of those rare instances where convenience leads to a good thing.
- The power of habit. It almost goes without saying but I should try to make some more good habits 😎
I’m deeply curious how other people schedule their weeks
- how much time spent at home vs going out
- how many regularly scheduled events
- does living in NY make a difference?

Recap

Here are some highlights from my life since we last spoke

Juwon came to visit
- Took her to Chelsea Market, High Line, Lady M, Bryant Park, Roosevelt Island and Tomi Jazz
  - Tomi Jazz was an hour wait to get in 😳. Definitely get there closer to opening next time
  - Roosevelt Island was a peaceful, beautiful oasis in the middle of NY. Would be great for a picnic or running (if I liked running). We took the cable car over which was pretty fun.
- Watched Aladdin together and went to Havana Central in Times Square
  - Aladdin was meh. Havana Central was better than expected since I was expecting an overpriced tourist trap.

Started playing volleyball again
- Went to Julio’s birthday party.

Started going to choir
- Some incredible singers here but I think I can keep up