Couchella Autumn Edition

December 01, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

So much has gone down since the last time I posted. Feels like I’ve been drinking out of a fire hydrant in terms of activities/events/things to do/work. I’m back home in California and just now finishing this draft/uploading all photos. Enjoy this post! Hope to get into a regular cadence of writing now that I’m back home.

I write from my hotel in midtown NYC. In the past two months I’ve bounced around from

Upper West Side
Woodside
Hell’s Kitchen
Lisbon
Porto
London
Dublin
Galway
Midtown

It’s been an equally fun and exhausting trip.

I’ve spent a lot of time

being alone
focusing on making friends/getting closer to the ones I have.
getting better at music
prepping for tourist/travel stuff

England & Ireland

Notable events from London:

Went on a bunch of walking tours.
- Street art tour in Shoreditch
- Historical tour of the City of London
- Harry Potter walking tour
- Choose wisely when it comes to walking tours. You usually end up lumped with other solo travelers on the tour. Some of my walking companions were amazing. Others were awkward to talk to and I’d find ways to avoid standing next to them at stops 😔.
Watched Come From Away with Sherry
Ate at Dishoom. Very solid Indian food. Note that dishoom is the sound they make in bollywood movies when someone’s getting punched (kinda like “pow”)

Got tapped in the nuts while walking in the theater district. Was stunned for a second but chased after the perv and yelled at him
Went to an open mic at The Prince of Wales Feathers
- London seems to have a strong open mic scene. The musicians at the event were pretty solid. Mix of rappers, singers, guitarists
Got drinks with Mimi
Went to market after market. London has way more markets than I ever expected

Rode a double decker bus :3
Ate a bunch of
- Fish n Chips (at least five different times)
  - My favorite was from Jack the Chipper
- Meat filled pies
- I considered trying jellied eels but… I chickened out. Of all the way to prepare eels why would you ever jelly them?
- By the end of the trip I felt bloated. English food is so heavy. It didn’t help that I ate fish n chips almost every other meal.

London was cool. The gloomy weather got to me and when the sun finally came out on my penultimate day I was delighted to see it.

From my short time there I got the sense that shoreditch/eastern part of London is a little grimier, grittier, cooler, artistic (amazing street art) while the west is fancy. I definitely liked the west more I guess I’m posh like that.

didn’t eat here but the design looked cool… next time

So many activities happening on daily basis. I had no shortage of things to do, people to meet and my only limiting factor was how tired I was by the end of my time there.

Also didn’t realize how huge London is. Coming in with no context I’d guessed it’d be roughly the size of Manhattan but it’s much bigger. Kind of like LA in the way it sprawls out into different neighborhoods/boroughs.

NY has 5 boroughs. London has 32…

nice lil coffee shop in covent garden that I liked. also right next to a market (seven dials)

The people were generally ok (besides that one dude who tapped me in the nuts). There’s a decent amount of diversity. I’d almost feel like I was back in Manhattan up until I’d hear people speak in the British accent.

I am a strong proponent of the British accent and a mini dream of mine is to settle down with a nice British girl.

…..

Also went to Ireland with Sherry. This was a pretty rushed part of the trip. Both of us worked throughout the trip so I don’t think we explored as much as we could.

First day in Dublin I

popped out to a walking tour of the city.
checked out the Guinness storehouse (meh)
- the Guinness does not taste that different over there
went to The Quays Temple Bar with Sherry for some food/Guinness. Some bangers and mash and fish and chips.

We also took the train to Galway. The first day we wandered around to the Christmas Market and went to a bar afterwards. I had some pretty good Irish Whiskey (Connemara).

I disliked Ireland overall. Ran into some rude people (server at bar, train attendant). The infrastructure was slow. There were no Ubers/catching cabs was not a guarantee. The food/architecture was good but not thaaat different from England to my untrained eye. By this point in the trip I was both getting tired of traveling/not used to traveling with someone so I wasn’t the best travel mate either.

But that last day at Galway salvaged it all. Sherry and I ditched what little plans we had made and wandered around the city. The night before it felt like we were running out of things to do in this small town but I’m so glad we stuck around.

This part of Galway was beaaaaaaautiful. Strong winds. Right by the ocean. Sunlight peeking thru the clouds. Water as far as the eye could see. Shrouded islands in the distance hidden by the fog.

Absolutely one of the best natural sights I’ve ever seen in my life.

We also saw a bunch of people swimming in the ocean. Old people wading around like it was nothin. People swimming freestyle against the current. A diving board jutting out a couple hundred feet into the water.

Sherry and I grabbed some coffee/pastries and walked in random directions for a few hours. We also walked down a long ass beautiful foot path hoping to find something cool at the end (e.g. a lighthouse) but it turned out to be a wastewater treatment plant 🥲

I wouldn’t mind going back to Galway some day to swim in the ocean with everyone else.

Travelin Man

I fulfilled a small time dream of mine to be a nomad. Almost twenty days spread across Porto, Lisbon, London, Dublin and Galway.

Honest thoughts—exhilarating for the first few days and then kind of meh from there.

Maybe it was

solitude
working late into the night during London.
missing friends back in NY

But by the last day of the trip (back in Lisbon) I was extremely ready to go back.

Maybe it was also the fact that I went in with zero expectations. The habit of taking things for granted. It wasn’t like I’d been dying/planning for ages to go to these countries.

I only went to Portugal on a whim after getting into sardines over the pandemic and wanting to check out some canneries.

That’s something I want to work on. Not taking things for granted and building up to something. Going into things with some form of goal/expectation.

Another theory—burn out due to roaming around so much. I haven’t had a solid base/lived out of my suitcase since August. It got to the point where being in a place with a washer and dryer became a notable event for me…

In any case I want to be more grateful/conscientious about opportunities like these. Which leads to the question of how does one become more grateful for the things they have?

NOT REALLY SURE.

BUT! I bought this Panda Planner which make m write out three things I’m grateful about on a daily basis. Cheesy af at first reaction but if it works it works (I’ll keep you posted).

My current plan is to go part time remote. I.e. have a permanent place in NY so I can build around a home/community but also do 2-4 week long trips every quarter.

Couchella Autumn Edition

The day I landed back in NY Will, Kelvin and I hosted our second Couchella. Perhaps the best event I’ve ever helped host.

Themed Autumn drinks.

A lineup of people doing music and stand up comedy.

And I played two of my songs!

To think that three lil scrubs could come together and pull this off so well makes me so proud of us.

Intermission (Ireland/London version)

November 17, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

It’s the night before I fly back to Portugal. I’m in my hotel room eating my last London meal (chicken sandwich with piri piri fries) and I’m too tired to write so here’s an intermission.

just came back from an open mic. London has a seemingly strong open mic scene and I’m glad I went.

I’m signing off for tonight. I’ll post again later this week.

byeeeeeeeee

Lisbon / Porto

November 11, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

Lisbon

Woke up in my Lisbon hotel at 5pm. Checked google. Sundown at 533pm.

Ran out as fast as I could towards the waterfront. Here is that journey in photo form.

I hate traveling with a strict schedule. Museum after landmark after event gets exhausting. This time around I’ve been winging it.

Wandered around Lisbon for the first few hours. I stumbled on a party at the Timeout Market.

Tried to sneak in but got punted at the door…

Wandered down to the waterfront to a party they were hosting for digital nomads based in Lisbon. They were checking tickets at the door so I snuck to the back and jumped the fence.

I’ve been slightly obsessed with sneaking into parties lately. The thrill of being in places I’m not supposed to be. Makes me feel ALIVE.

Made a new friend at the start of the party (social media manager from Nebraska who’s been working freelance/internationally for the past few years) and we spent the rest of the time meeting everyone else/drinking.

International people are pretty cool. Everyone’s journeyed to a place off the expected path and they generally have good/interesting reasons for doing so. They’re also more inclined to become fast friends since they’re alone in a foreign place and don’t know anyone.

Ended the night at a Portuguese McDonald’s with a disappointing burger.

Lisbon was fun and I’d love to work here for some time. I can’t see myself staying that long because the city seems kind of small but it feels like a beautiful paradise.

Beaches. Nice people. Cheap food.

Porto

Took the train up north to Porto. Spent the next few days doing more of the same.

Met some people at another international traveler party. Went clubbing with them.
- To my disappointment, my Airbnb turned out to be located just a street over. I laid in bed several nights past 5am listening to the thumping bass of the clubs
- Was surprised to hear Christmas music at the club. I think this is because they don’t have a buffer holiday like Thanksgiving to take up their attention in November

Watched a traditional Portuguese Fado show.
- It’s known for being a mournful music. Vocals accompanied with guitar. Very sad/weepy. I asked two different Portuguese people if they liked Fado and they said no because it’s too sad (Sado).
Did some Port tasting
- Yum I like the sweet wine
- Hung out with a Swedish friend I made who’s studying in Portugal for Erasmus (a European practice of studying abroad in a different country)
Went on a date with a Brazilian girl that had relocated to Portugal.
- I was curious about dating in a different country but it was kind of the same as in America?
- We got coffee and walked around
- She was kinda quiet at the beginning but quickly became extremely talkative (talking about drama she had in her friend group) towards the end of the date. I could barely get a word in by the end.
Listened to a number of street performers. Some of them were the best singers I’ve heard in years
Went on a walking tour on my last day. Some info from the guide:
- Portuguese people are also known as Tripeiros (tripe eaters).
  - This signifies their willingness to sacrifice for the country. Back in the day their king would ask them to give up meat as part of the war effort and Portuguese ppl would proudly eat tripe instead
- Portuguese people are also known for being aggressive/kind.
  - The feeling I got during my time is they’re pretty open, straightforward, friendly. Not too particular/uppity. The girl I went on a date with mentioned the Portuguese “don’t have too high standards” which is not what I wanted to hear while on a date with her but sure that makes sense.
- Walking around Porto you’ll see a lot of students wearing what looks like Harry Potter cloaks/attire.
  - JK Rowling lived in Porto for a few years before writing Harry Potter and it’s generally believed that a lot of that was inspired by her time there.
  - Would have loved to pick up a cloak but they’re hard to get. The students are very exclusive/secretive
  - There’s a tradition where the newer students aren’t allowed to wear cloaks until their second year. That first year is full of hazing, lowered privileges (e.g. not being able to make eye contact with upperclassmen)

Porto was even more picturesque. One of the most beautiful cities I’ve seen in the world. Would have loved to spend some more time there (spent two nights there) but got the sense I might get bored after a while (kind of small).

My tour guide also mentioned that even up to 15 years ago Porto was kind of slummy and only recently became a tourist destination. Apparently there’s some tension between the residents and tourists and a lot of the residents are being priced out of the nicer parts of Porto.

Food & Recs

Lisbon

Went to Time Out Market. Food court with a ton of options.

Pastel de nata from Manteigaria. This is what the city’s known for. Delicious

Codfish cakes. I ate three of these and thought they were very overrated. A little too salty with a mushy/boney texture in the middle

Porto

Went to Brasao Cervejaria on a recommendation. Really delicious/great service. They serve bread with olives and butter. I hated olives for years before eating here but this meal changed that.

This rissol was the best thing I ate in porto. A beef, mushroom, truffle mixture encapsulated by a fluffy on the inside, crunch on the outside wrap. Take a bite and the inner juices floooooood your mouth. Dip it in that sauce on the side and ooooh-wheee what a dish~

Also ordered a francesinha. This is what Porto’s known for food wise. A heaping sandwich of gravy, cheese, bread, pork, ham. Super filling/food coma bomb. I ate this right before my date and had to drink a ton of coffee to get my energy back.

I’m not a fan of the dish. Too much food. TOO MUCH GOING ON. Also thought the gravy was a little too salty.

Gotta have port if you go to Porto.

Even more baked goods. Got a particularly good one at Nata Lisboa.

Great cheap beef sandwich (prego) at Pregar

Some recs from my tour guide for future reference:

Music Update

Not much to report. Taking two weeks off singing and songwriting classes while I’m traveling.

Upon return to the US I’ll perform some songs for our upcoming Couchella event.

Portugal was great. I’m currently in London but will head back to Portugal afterwards. Woke up super early and caught the sunrise for the first time in months (years?)

Intermission (London edition)

November 10, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

Taking another intermission because I’m busy af this week.

working out of London so it’s a juggling act of frantically going on tours before work starts and working late into the night.

the London I’ve seen so far is pretty cool. I’m staying in Brick Lane which is an artsy neighborhood known for street art, thrift shops, etc.

feels like a grungier/more artistic version of Berkeley or east village.

still settling into the British way of life. So far I’ve eaten a ton of fish n chips, Indian food, sausage rolls (puff pastry filled with sausage), meat pies, etc.

im kind of at the point where I’d rather eat sweetgreen or something light…

besides that the people are diverse and relatively nice. They treat me as a novelty when they hear my American accent. I tried out my British accent for a British friend I made in Portugal and he said it was pretty good. Maybe I’ll try to fake an accent for some conversations here 😅

Most people also get very impressed when I tell them I’m from nyc. What a weird concept where the place you live gives you social capital. Back in Portugal I met a Romanian dude and mentioned I was from NY and he literally started jumping up and down. Imagine a huge Romanian dude jumping up with delight with a look of disbelief simply because you came from NYC.

later that night we had a longer conversation where he taught me a number of things I didn’t know about ny…

anyways intermission for tonight. Cya in a bit

Couchella / ToAnnie in Town

November 04, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing from my hotel room in Lisbon. It’s 12:22 AM here but really 8:22 PM my time and I am still mostly wide awake.

Had a really fun first day here but I’ll talk about that in a later post. Lemme fill you guys in on the last week.

Couchella

Couchella went great. We met at Will’s place around 8pm. Initially a bit of a sausage fest but that’s alright music does not care about gender.

People slowly came through and we started playing around 10pm.

This was my first time playing a fuller set:

Autumn
Ennui
Weather
Clarity
Timing

The weather during the set was cloudy, rainy and slightly thundery—just the way I like it.

Here’s the set in most of its entirety. Our camera conked out halfway thru so we salvaged this from Rupert’s phone.

Some things I didn’t realize before

It takes physical stamina to do a longer set.
- Every song took something physically out of me and by the end of the set I was pretty tired.
Crowd work is hard
- Maybe one day I can face out into the crowd and make jokes and all that but this time around I was a lil shy/too focused on the music

Will, Kelvin and I plan to do this on a monthly~ basis. Hopefully meeting new artists and rotating out the performers for each show. I’m happy enough with how this show went but def gotta practice more for the next one. Especially the singing.

After the show we went out for some Halloween stuff. Went to (and quickly dipped from) two crowded af parties. Ended the night eating 2 bros pizza after playing some drinking games at Kaagni’s (Will’s friend) apartment.

ToAnnie in Town

ToAnnie came by from the Bay for Tony’s birthday weekend. Squeezed a good amount in.

Brunch at Elephant and Castle
- Eggs benedict is the best brunch item of all time. This one had a twist where they used a potato pancake as the base.

Got dinner at nonono. Japanese skewer restaurant. Got the ramen and it was pretty decent. Big group of people. ToAnnie, Karen, Dan, Will, Bryan and Lilli

Went to Seeyamañana afterwards for drinks. I still have to charge people for that.
- One of the worst parts of doing group stuff. Getting charged with the bill at the end and having to split it amongst the group. I drag stuff like this on for weeks sometimes…
Went to Anytime. Got into a chanting match with another table which ended with at least 75% of the restaurant chanting together.
- When we started singing happy birthday to Tony the other table came up and sang along/drank with us and that felt great
Went to Yoon Korean barbecue. Pretty tasty, expensive meal.

Music Update

My singing seems to have hit a plateau. Heard a busker earlier today in Portugal and DAMN this guy killed it. I aspire to be at that level but truly don’t know if I’ll ever reach it.

Is there a ceiling to singing skill level? The hopeful fool in me thinks not. I hope that it’s all skill based and even those without the greatest starting amounts of talent can eventually reach the top.

But who knows?

In any case I’ll go as far as I can.

It was a pretty good end to this particular NY trip.

The lines are very blurred. Am I a visitor? Am I a resident? Where do I B E L O N G?

As of now writing in my hotel room in Portugal I’m preeeeetty happy with how it’s all going but this past few weeks in NY haven’t been the most comfortable in my life.

I am looking forward to the day when I have my own place again and can start building a life around stability. Up until the point I get restless and do this whole thing all over again.

On a final note Woodside… Didn’t like living all the way out there. Walking through the streets at night in mostly empty streets where even the houses had dark lights felt pretty lonely.

Some pretty good food though. I’l give you that Woodside/Sunnyside.

Bolivian Llama Party. Best fries I’ve had maybe all year. These saltenas were great too. Slightly sweet baked exterior. Steaming hot curry like interior. Great food for a cold day.

Intermission

November 03, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

It’s been a pretty busy week with

prepping for performing at Couchella
hanging out with friends over Halloweekend
getting ready for my portugal/england/ireland trip

So I’m taking a break from this week’s post.

See ya in a few days!

Party Crasher / Hot Singles NYC / Autumn in Catskills / Social Media

October 27, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing on the rooftop of Will’s apartment where the clouds have just parted and the sun streams down onto the city.

Hiding in the shade I’m at the perfect vantage point and can write comfortably.

Just finished a cold brew and worked out on the roof.

Feeling good.

Buckle up this post’s going to be a long one.

Party Crasher

I have a friend who has the uncanny ability to show up at super exclusive events. Cannes film festival. NY Fashion week shows. Dinners with celebrities.

He’s shrouded in mystery. I have no idea how he does it.

But this week I was able to peek behind the curtain a little.

Last Wednesday after a grueling vocal lesson (where I deeply embarrassed myself with terrible singing) I found myself exhausted and lonely with nothing to do.

I hit up my friend on Instagram and he responded with an event he was going to.

Moore hotel. Opening party. Free drinks/food.

Got to the event in my finest clothes (which were kinda shabby because I’m still living out of a suitcase 🥲) and frantically asked him how to get up.

Walk in like you’re a guest. Press penthouse at the elevator and come out to the roof.

I got to the door and walked past the two hostesses with what I hoped was my most nonchalant expression. Walked into the elevator surrounded by a half dozen well dressed, attractive people and went up to the top floor.

From then it was pretty easy. Free food. Free drinks. Attractive, well dressed people mingling and taking photos.

I listened in on the conversation trying to figure out what kind of people came to this event. There were three types:

People related to PR/marketing invited to generate buzz about the opening
People related to the hotel—employees, managers, etc.
People who knew people and tagged along (freeloaders)

I went from group to group until I got tired (every group I joined was sizing me up to see what I did/what connections I had) and left after another drink.

went to a food hall opening after the hotel opening. So many openings in NY you can eat and drink free every day if you know where to go

I saw my friend again a couple days later.

We met up at a wine convention. Apparently there are a bunch of trade shows where you can get a lot of free food/drinks as long as you know about them.

After the wine expo we tried to sneak into a corporate party at a restaurant in Hudson Yards.

We walked past the hostess and went to the terrace where there was a group of well dressed business people mingling over drinks and snacks. A smaller group—maybe 10-15 people. I was easily the most underdressed there (wearing my jeans and polo jacket).

I must have looked pretty awkward and out of place because after ten minutes a woman with a clipboard came up to me.

“Are you in the right place?”

”Yeah this is for {COMPANY_NAME}, right” - My friend had told me the company name before we went in

“Oh yes, that’s right. You are in the right place” - This is where I should have shut up and left but I kept running my mouth instead.

“I’m a little confused though, I thought this was an IT company. It doesn’t seem like there are that many IT people”

“Who are you with?”

“{MY_ACTUAL_COMPANY_NAME}

“I see”

She went off for a while. I grabbed a drink and tried to blend in with all the others.

She came back after ten minutes and asked if she could talk to me in the corner. We then had the most embarrassing conversation I’ve had all year. She called me out as a party crasher. Apparently {COMPANY_NAME} wasn’t an IT company at all and I had misunderstood. When I started blabbering about IT stuff she got suspicious…

All in all she was pretty nice about it and I tried to get away without throwing my friend under the bus. But he eventually got caught and kicked out as well.

After that event my friend kept it going by getting into a fundraiser thrown by one of the NYC comptroller candidates.

“It’ll be way easier to get in”

I expected a much larger crowd. A big party with a DJ at a club or something. We walked into the restaurant to instead find a small, intimate table of ~10 people eating dinner.

I dipped right after that.

It’s hard enough to get one person into something like that. No way two people could make it through.

My friend stayed. Deep courage. He not only joined and finished the dinner but also got a ride home with the comptroller and exchanged numbers as well…

I had a fun night. There’s an art to sneaking into exclusive places. I picked up some pointers:

Dress like you belong. A suit could have helped a lot.
A lot of places will just let you walk in. More than you’d expect.
Don’t run your mouth. Gather as much info about the situation. Don’t offer up more info than necessary.
- What incentive do people have to question you? As long as you don’t give them a reason to be suspicious they won’t be
You have to know what events are going on in the first place. You can’t get into something if you don’t know it’s happening.

Hot Singles NYC

Will and I went to a singles party. The idea of going to one was kinda daunting. But I’m trying to confront those fears so I forced myself to go.

As with most things the fear here turned out to be unwarranted.

They treated us to free shots at the door. It was hard approaching people at first but the alcohol kicked in and things became a lot easier.

I talked to a few girls but didn’t feel much interest in either direction. I caught glimpse of a cutie walking by but by the time I mustered the courage to go talk to her she had disappeared.

That’s the main idea I got out of this.

Stop listening to doubts or fears or apathy or laziness and just do it

How many cuties have I let disappear from my life?

Overall it was fun. Will and I collectively made a number of new friends but I’m not sure we’ll see any of them again.

Autumn in Catskills

Will, Kelvin and I went to the Catskills! We rented out what turned out to be a huge Airbnb in Kerhonkson.

Traveled in style in a Tesla which turned out to be a pain in the ass. The model 3 we had was not geared for long road trips so we had to stop by a supercharger every day.

Junk food.

Jamming out on the Airbnb’s piano with the ukelele and guitar we brought.

Fall foliage.

Building a fire for an hour with annoying, damp logs.

Getting annoyed at Will for chucking in wood pellets one by one and gloating about how effective they were.

Watching Hometown Cha Cha Cha.

Getting stuck in traffic and turning on Tesla’s autopilot.

Freaking out when the autopilot made a huge sudden turn to the left into oncoming cars.

Waiting for an hour to get served at The Last Bite and ending up with mediocre food anyways.

Driving past what seemed like huge, creepy, empty houses at night in the middle of nowhere.

Doing photo shoots on boulders and streams for our dating profiles.

Hearing twigs snap in the middle of the night outside wondering what was out there.

Stopping by Rockland Cider Works for cider on the way back

Honestly was not the smoothest trip (I got annoyed at several points… I’m trying to let things go more) but I am so so happy that we ended up going.

Social Media

After a decade-plus hiatus on Instagram I’ve started posting again.

I hung out with some friends a few months ago and they mentioned not knowing what I’d been up to during most of the pandemic.

I’m going to post/use social media more because

I want my friends to know what I’m up to
I don’t want to be forgotten
I want to hit up my friends more often

I love writing to the blog and it’s great to go in depth on topics but I want to fire on all cylinders.

So far it’s working. I’ve reconnected with a few friends I haven’t talked to since I started posting to my story again.

Music Update

These three hour songwriting classes are killing me. Takes up my entire Tuesday. I’m not sure how I’ll do 7-10 pm EST when I’m on European time next week.

This past week our assignment was to write a song inspired by a movie. I wrote mine after one of my favorites. You can guess the movie.

Besides that I’m still doing Love Never Felt So Good for my vocal lessons. Should wrap up next week and move on to a new song. The high notes have been killing me but I’ve wrangled them in recently. It’s so weird that I was able to sing it much better when I drunk sang at karaoke a few weeks ago but now it sounds like shit…

Lastly, I’m prepping for my set at Couchella! It’ll be my first time performing an entire set in front of a live crowd so I’m super excited for that.

The movie was ratatouille btw.

I’m wrapping up my time in NY. One more week in Woodside/Sunnyside, Queens and I’m outta here.

I’ll be traveling for the next few weeks visiting Portugal and England (meeting Sherry there!).

I think I saw a lot of people that I wanted to see and did a lot of things I wanted to do but left a few things unfinished in New York.

I wish I could have

gotten closer with my volleyball group
performed more music
made closer friends out of the people I know/met here
dated more

It’s been difficult establishing a routine without a permanent place but that’s the tradeoff I made.

I’ll focus on all that when I’m back!

Suite Life / Jay Did

October 19, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

The crisp, cool Autumn winds slapped me across the face today. One day it was a pleasant, slightly hot 70+ degrees. And the next day it breached sub 50 degrees. Dang.

I’m still living out of my suitcase where my winter clothes inventory is sorely lacking. Honestly this whole lifestyle is getting to be a slight drag.

Living out of a suitcase. Living out of a small hotel room. No fridge/stove/microwave. Eating out almost every meal.

I may have under thought this whole living arrangement.

The glamor of living out of my suitcase hopping from location to location is dwindling and I slowly start to yearn for stability… But I think that’s mainly because

This hotel room is tiny
I don’t have a kitchen
It’s getting cold
I’m not staying in new locations
I’m kinda jaded this week in particular

On the bright side

My new hotel is very close to Will’s apt so we hang out at his spot a fair amount
The view is incredible
The room, though small, is clean and modern

Well, even this hotel room won’t last for long. I’m off to upstate New York this weekend and I’m going to Queens after that!

I’ll enjoy this all while it lasts.

Jay Did

This week flew by as well. Why does it seem like every week these days feels the same? I thought coming back to NY would be refreshing and adventurous compared to the suburbs but maybe I want something brand new.

I know that’s probably not the best attitude. If I look hard enough something interesting/worthwhile might catch my eye. But this past week I felt particularly jaded/washed.

I’m going to let myself linger in these feelings for a few more days then get back to the grind…

Reminds me of this sonnet (Sonnet 66) I once performed in an acting class. Not saying I feel anywhere close to that amount of angst buuuut I feel you Shakespeare.

Edit: had a good night’s sleep and though I did feel this way last night I feel a lot better now.

Week in Review

Jadedness aside it was an eventful week.

Got Mala project (with Will, Kelvin, Kim and Wes) for the first time since I came back! Stuck with the mild and didn’t absolutely destroy my stomach this time
Hung out with Brian and Simon in Flushing.
- Having stayed mostly in the Chinese area of flushing, this trip was eye opening
- We hit up a few spots in the Korean section of Flushing (close to the Murray Hill stop)
  - Dwitgolmok - a pocha that had good padak and budaejigae
  - Gaja Karaoke
- This area felt so similar to LA koreatown. Strip mall after strip mall of Korean restaurants, shops, PC bangs, karaoke spots. If it weren’t so far away I’d hang here a lot more.
- Also interesting hanging out exclusively with other Koreans again. Those shared references and being able to sing Korean songs at karaoke (and going harder on the alcohol)

Went to Anytime and Den Social with CJ and some of his friends
- First time clubbing in Ktown. Took an edible and had a good time
- 99% sure I saw moneysigneric at the club. He was trying to go upstairs but seemed lost :(
- Speaking of celebrity sightings, I saw Fred Armisen in Hell’s Kitchen last week. Mid conversation with Will I glanced up and saw him walking by with a date(?). I was startled and said something like “hey Will look it’s Fred Armisen” and after hearing that Fred hurried off before we could say anything else. Will didn’t even get to see him so he ran across the street to try to intercept him but Fred ended up going a different direction :(
Went on a date with a girl from Queens. We walked around Jackson Heights and got momos (nepalese dumplings). I’m blanking on the name but the restaurant was somewhere near the 7 stop.
- Never had momos before but they’re pretty similar to other asian dumplings to my untrained palate
- The girl was nice and had really beautiful eyes but I don’t think the chemistry was there
- Jackson Heights is known for being one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the world but my date mentioned it’s still pretty segmented by ethnicities
  - Bengali people, Mexican people, Filipino people here all kind of have their own turfs
Took a bike cab through Times Square! Was late to meet people at Remi43 Flower & Coffee so I hired a guy to bike me past the crowds. Very expensive ($20 for 4-5 minutes) but for a brief shining moment I felt like a king.

been walking to the waterfront more now that I’m in midtown

Ate ramen in the rain. Picked up spicy paitan ramen from Totto Ramen. The best thing out of a bowl I’ve eaten this past month. Broth so deep and perfectly seasoned. Noodles, egg, pork all that gooood stuff. I walked for about twenty minutes in the rain trying to find a table on the waterfront where I could eat my ramen while the sun set on this peculiar sunny/rainy day. By the end of the journey the broth was lukewarm and I was pretty cold/slightly wet but… good experience overall

Music Update

Will’s hosting a small concert at his spot in a few weeks and I’ve signed up to perform. Mostly focusing on that.

should I get some of these dancers for my show too?

Thanks for reading. Coming next I’ll be traveling a little bit and prepping hard for my set in a few weeks. I’ll hopefully record that so my remote readers can watch too :)

Mouse / Klara And The Sun

October 13, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

Speedrun post because I am sleep deprived and want to nap before I go to dinner.

The week passed by in a blur. Found a mouse in my tiny Airbnb. Mice problems are bad in the first place but imagine sharing 150 sq ft with a mouse. Had to give my roomie some space so I ended up leaving.

Somewhat of a debacle where they requested photo evidence of the mouse for me to get a refund
First time I saw the mouse I freaked and didn’t even think to take a photo
The following day I went back armed with my iPhone camera but the mouse was nowhere to be found…

Luckily William sheltered me until I could get back onto my feet. I am currently writing from the desk of my room at Pod Hotel! Free upgrade to a queen bed!

Besides the mouse problem and hanging out at William’s place, it was a pretty standard week.

Met up with some work friends
Played volleyball
Got back into producing
Went to a house party with William. Bunch of Columbia literature PhDs. Interesting/smart people. Had played volleyball for 4 hours before so I was extra exhausted this night.
Finally tried EAK ramen. Great broth. Noodle to broth ratio was way off though (not enough broth). Was it good enough to make me go “EAK!”?
- No. But I will go again if I’m back in the area.

Tried therapy (through Lyra) for the first time. The session mostly involved me venting recent issues to the therapist. By the end of the session she told me I didn’t seem to have any dire mental issues and suggested I go see a mental health coach instead.
- It was pretty nice having someone to freely vent to. I’m the type of person who doesn’t talk extensively about most problems unless people explicitly ask me.
- Might look into mental health coach but not really a priority right now.

Klara and the Sun

Also got back into reading. It’s been months since I last finished a book.

This time around I read Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro.

The story focuses on Klara, an Artificial Friend, who is tasked with helping her designated child grow/integrate well into society. Themes of observation, society, what it means to be human.

Would recommend. Not as intense/impactful as Never Let Me Go but an interesting read anyways.

Klara observes the world as an outsider and makes judgements on how the world is structured.

As I grow older my perception of the world grows more absolute/rigid. I rarely question myself.

But what if I’m wrong!

I read somewhere that it takes time for your brain to collect the data from your senses and form them into a coherent story/image/thought. There’s a built in delay.

No one has a perfect understanding of what the world is. We’re not even seeing the world in real time!

It’s a survival mechanism to lean into the perceptions/understanding you’ve built up over time. But there’s also value in seeing things in a new light.

The tightrope act between trusting your judgement and avoiding your blind spots.

Sun came out after a week of clouds. I felt like Klara for a moment.

Music Update

Skipped vocal lessons this week because Michelle’s out of town.

Went to my second songwriting class. We talked again about song structures.

Verse/Chorus/Verse/Chorus — most of modern pop songs
AABA —an older structure that’s somewhat gone out of style
- Somewhere Over the Rainbow
- Yesterday
- Don’t Know Why (Norah Jones)

Afterwards we listened to/critiqued the presenters of the week. I’m going next week. Wish me luck.

Meetings! / What Happens In DC…

October 06, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

All I can think about right now is how many meetings I’ve been stuck in this past week.

Literally just finished a three hour zoom for my songwriting class.

Three hours! How does anything useful happen over the span of three hours?

Not to mention all these project meetings and interviews and coffee chats.

Must be this new wave of people graduating during COVID but I’ve been getting a lot requests to talk about my job. I loved the attention at first but it’s getting kind of exhausting.

Some people are so blatantly trying to get a referral out of me (which is fine in itself) but why ask me these aimless questions about my job in the first place? Do you really care? Can we cut this convo short? Or am I just too jaded?

I guess it would be a lot more pleasant if they actually bought coffee for me 😂. Of the people I’ve talked to so far not a single one has offered.

If only one of you would offer. How I’d go above and beyond for you.

If I ever want something from someone I will absolutely at least buy a cup of coffee for them.

In fact next time someone asks me for a coffee chat I will ask them where the coffee is.

What happens in DC comes back to NY

Beyond the grind of meetings I’ve been out in DC for the week.

After

At least ten mosquito bites
- Killed two of them with my bare hands 😎
A long week of no exercise and a ton of junk food
A number of fights with Harry

All I can really say is that DC is a beautiful city.

So many pretty buildings. A good amount of investment into arts/culture. Diversity. Interesting restaurants. Walkability. Love it all.

Walking through the streets of DC in the muggy humidity amidst the new shiny buildings and the street noises felt so strongly of Korea. That brief striking moment where you can look up a bit from the streets and people and pretend you’re back in the motherland.

There’s something to be said about the city feeling. How different cities and neighborhoods evoke certain emotions/moods. Back in Prospect Heights amidst those beautiful brownstones and stroller families and coffee shops it felt like I was living in a dream. A beautiful dream where nothing bad could ever happen but nothing real happened either.

DC evokes a different feeling. A feeling that people have their skin in the game. That they’re trying to build something bold here. Not nearly as much excitement as Manhattan but anything could happen.

Hard to pinpoint why I feel this way. Maybe it’s all the street art or the arts scene they seem to have at Busboys and Poets. Or all the history that’s so apparent and available on the streets. The idea that this history is being built upon continuously.

Am I reading too much into this? I’ve only been here for a week. We’ll see how I feel on subsequent trips back.

Some highlights from the trip:

Went to the spy museum

Had some amazing Ethiopian food at Chercher (had not known DC had so many Ethiopian restaurants). The Doro Wot (chicken stew) tasted like a vibrant curry. Bright, in your face flavors. Mix that with the sour injera (fermented flatbread) and the beef tibs and the sour cream(?) sauce and you got yourself a meal. Whooooooooo man that was good. Good enough that I want to seek out some Ethiopian restaurants in NY too.

Went to my first in person church service (at The District Church) since the start of COVID! The pastor gave some historical context around the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman which was pretty fascinating.
- Recapping to the best of my memory: Samaritans are Jews in the northern half of Israel who intermarried with the invading Assyrians. Southern Jews hated Samaritans so much they’d try everything to avoid them, even taking a detour of multiple days across desert to avoid interacting with Samaritans. It’s in this context that Jesus (a Jew from Southern Israel) interacts with a Samaritan (an adulterer and woman on top of that—super scandalous for that time) at the well. The disciples were triiiiiipping because of this.
Ate one of the best Italian subs of my life at Union Kitchen. I am no authority on Italian subs but damn this hit the spot. Absolutely will return on subsequent trips.
Best chilaquiles of my life at El Sol Restaurant. I am a better authority on chilaquiles and these were great. Thank you Sherry for the rec.

Zoned out while people watching and drinking coffee. I think I was more stressed this week than usual because I spent a record amount of time zoning out and doing nothing. Very enjoyable time turning my brain off.

I also met someone interesting at a party Harry threw. Older black woman in her 40s(?). Worked as a lawyer for a long time. She’s currently taking a break from law and working as a yoga instructor(!!!) and taking theater/singing lessons/acting gigs on the side.

I’ve been thinking about stagnancy a lot these days. I’ve turned around on software engineering and enjoy what I do these days but I also wonder what’s on the other side of my current gig. It was cool meeting someone older who’s had such a varied career and pursued arts throughout all the “serious” work stuff.

You can do anything you want in this life! I’m gonna have it all!

The view from Meridian Hill Park. Doesn’t this kind of look like unit 1?

Music Update

Michelle said I’ve improved on my high notes for Love Never Felt So Good!

I am steadily making progress here. Practicing the high notes has helped me with other songs too.

Had my first songwriting class today. As mentioned three hours seems a bit excessive.

The class is over zoom with the following format

Lecture (anywhere from 1-1.5 hours)
- This week we went over different song structures and listened to examples of each type
Break
Perform/critique other performances
Resume lecture

I think it’ll be a good form of accountability in finishing my songs.

DC was a mixed bag but the change of scenery was overall good.

I’m returning to NY with a list of things I want to do:

Explore NY
- Doña Fela in Jackson Heights
- Museum of City of NY
Go on a Fall Foliage road trip
Open Mics
- QED in Astoria
- Another one in prospect heights that I forget the name of
Audition for Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater
- Hope it’s not a cop out but I’m doing the online audition. Not sure I want to wait out the line

I’ve also watched way too much TV over the past month so I’m taking a break on that.

Deleted some dating apps as well because it’s getting to be kind of a drag.

I’m pretty sure there’s some correlation between dating apps and relationship satisfaction. How can you be satisfied with one person when there’s a whole digital ocean of potential alternatives at your fingertips? Even if you can’t match with them the illusion that you can still exists.

It would be cool to meet someone offline.

Open Mic Part II (Attack of the Blues Players) / Last Week Before DC

September 26, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m getting pretty good at doing things alone.

We start the night at Michiko studios. Michelle’s run me through the ringer and had me practice Michael Jackson’s Love Never Felt So Good three times in a row. By the end of the session my voice is shot and I am physically fatigued due to all that damn breathing required to sing the song.

As the vocal lesson wraps up I debate my next steps.

Go home and watch Family Guy till I fall asleep? Go to a Japanese food meetup to have dinner with a bunch of randos? Or go to Otto’s Shrunken Head for an open mic?

As I juggle these options I hit up different friends to see if they’d go to an open mic with me last minute. Everyone’s busy.

I go with the open mic. It scares me the most (especially with the lack of morale support) and I’m trying to put myself into uncomfortable situations these days.

I stop by Union Square on the way to East Village. There’s an amazing band (Incircles) playing and as I watch the trio head banging their way through the set I realize that’s what I want to do too.

To go all out in front of the crowd with no reservations. What a glorious feeling.

I stop by Gorin Ramen for a quick bowl. I usually dislike eating alone at restaurants but luckily there’s only three parties there that night and all of us are solo diners. I make sure to sit parallel to everyone else so I don’t have to face anyone during my meal.

Kitakata ramen from Gorin Ramen. Kind of smoky/salty. I thought it was ok.

I get to Otto’s Shrunken Head and enter the back room.

Tiki bar decor. There’s a stage, drums, two guitarists, a bassist and a keyboard player.

The musicians are AMAZING. The bass player plays a beautiful solo in the midst of the raucous set with a string of chords and notes that make my heart swell. Possibly the best bass performance I’ve seen in my entire life.

As my name gets closer to the top of the list I realize two things.

One—it was called an open mic on the eventbrite page but it’s much more a jam session. At least ten people have cycled through the stage to play the blues. I’m the only person who came to do a singer-songwriter style open mic.

Two—the other musicians aggressively, adamantly just want to keep playing blues. No one wants to stop the flow to listen to me.

The organizer calls my name and I get up to the piano for sound check. The guitarists tauntingly play half assed solos over sound check. This goes on for a few long, uncomfortable moments and we keep having to restart sound check. Only after the organizer argues with them do the guitarists sheepishly slink back to the audience.

A terrible setting to start playing.

I remind myself that I wanted to find myself in uncomfortable situations and start my songs. At least half the crowd pull out their phones to ignore me.

I get mad and start spite singing. Whenever I see them not paying attention or trying to have a side conversation I sing as strongly as I can. As in their face as possible without derailing the song.

The spite singing actually helps a lot and the vocals for this performance are pretty good. My piano playing is shit though 😂.

I play Timing and Autumn (songs release tbd) and end the performance there.

I think I earned some respect from the other musicians. By the end of the performance they mostly pay attention to me and clap/give me fist bumps after my performance.

I watch some more blues, have a drink, and walk home. On the way back I run into Jacob Williams from Wild N Out! Past readers will know I’ve binged hours of Wild N Out clips on YouTube.

This strategy of doing uncomfortable things is paying off. I’ve wasted so many years being afraid of dumb little things like going to open mics alone. Even in a non-supportive environment like this I had fun performing. Why was this such a blocker for me?

The fear of the unknown dissipates and I’m left with the vision of what’s possible.

What if I go to an open mic every week and improve a ton? What if I keep pushing myself beyond my comfort zone?

Week In Review

I’ve been in NY around a month. Past few weeks have felt like settling in. I wanted to be more proactive this week.

Hosted some friends at Kelvin’s spot this past Friday. I’ve never taken the initiative to mix/mingle my different friends in NY. This time around I invited pretty much everyone I knew in the area.
- Hung out with Kelvin, CJ, Rupert, Jason and Nicole (everyone else was busy or bailed last minute). Kelvin’s roommate hosted some people as well so it turned out to be a huge group.
- Really happy I took the initiative. Will organize some more stuff when I’m back in New York. Not sure how well everyone got along with each other—that’s always a roll of the dice—but also don’t care toooooo much.
Had a great bowl of ramen on a night of rain ❤️
- 10PM. AC blasting. Rain dripping outside. Listening to jazz as I bask in the afterglow of this experiential bowl (spicy Tonkotsu) from Jin Ramen. A bowl so heart warming that I stopped watching whatever it was on Youtube and ate the rest in silence so I could feel the flavors. Pork seasoned soft boiled egg so perfectly jelly like and sweet. Chashu fat that melts on my tongue. Broth that enveloped and continues to envelop me in a warm hug. Wow. The flavor of the broth wasn’t exactly what I was expecting (less sweet, more on the salty side) but man I feel good right now. A great end to an extremely rainy evening.
Got closer to my volleyball friends
- Dunked on some fools during gameplay (as usual). There was a new team of Chinese players that joined us this time and they were fire. We beat them once to great surprise and delight. They proceeded to beat four teams in a row after that…
- Went to Amity Hall for drinks/food after our Saturday session. Surprisingly diverse group of occupations/ethnicities. At our table of nine we had people from Greece, Peru, Spain, America. We had a scientist, architect, construction worker, actor, non profit housing employee, some software engineers. What a mix!

Hung out at some diners
- Skylight Diner with Will
- Morning Star Cafe with Kelvin
- I love how extensive diner menus are. Page after page of items I’ll never have the time or will to order. There’s some great innovation in some diner kitchens. Had a pizza burger at Morning Star Cafe and it was sloppy delicious. Curly fries there were incredible at a drunken 2AM.

Caught up with Sherry post her move to England! She seemed pretty happy on the call. I showed off the latest food innovation I’ve stumbled upon: the pie crust cookie (great in theory, decent in execution)

late night hanging with Will. He always insists going to the water. Jersey looks beautiful from the distance

Music Update

Not too much of an update here. Moved on to Love Never Felt So Good. Highest song I’ve sung so far. I wanted to work on singing in the high range and pick a faster/upbeat song.

If I were more dedicated I’d spend more time producing but… I think it’s ok to focus on just singing for now.

I’ve signed up for songwriting lessons that start this coming Tuesday so I’ll focus on that for the next few weeks as well.

I’m off to DC for this coming week.

I’ve had a good time in the past month in NY.

I’m the most active I’ve been in years and I love that.

I’ve also been reigning in my fears and getting out of my comfort zone.

I did two open mics (trying to do one a week).
I befriended a group of four college girls singing Empire State of Mind on my walk home from Kelvin’s
- I’m pretty bad with complete strangers. My default is to be kind of standoffish and I’m working on opening up more.
Joined two different meetups.
Hosted people

I’ll take a refresher week in DC and hopefully come back even stronger.

I want to focus on

Building the friendships of old friends that have moved here
Making new friends in NY
- Especially in UWS
- OR friends that make music
Dating more
Performing more
Prepping for my Europe trip in November

Gloomin

September 20, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

This post is a gloomy one.

I’ve started writing this post late (10PM) from my office.

I am the only one on this floor and that’s how I like it baby.

Came out here earlier to escape my tiny ass claustrophobic apartment. Just to be with other people. That thin line of being surrounded by other related people but not having to socialize with them.

The honeymoon period of being back in NY is wearing off a little. I’m starting to realize that I’m living solo in a big ass city staying in a tiny ass Airbnb. The only thing that keeps me company through the lonely nights is the sound of my constantly running AC 🥲.

I’ve been out of it the last few days. A combination of being bone-deep sore from volleyball and being cooped up in the tiny apartment.

All in all though it’s been a pretty active week.

Played a lot of volleyball. Dunked on a few fools and got in some good blocks. Sunscreened to the max and my face didn’t burn this time
- Reached a milestone with my volleyball group! Got dinner with them after a session and got added to a group chat. Nick also graciously paid for our table’s dinner. What a good dude
Hung out a lot with William and Kelvin.
- Been going over to Kelvin’s a lot. His place is huge and he hosts a lot of random events so it’s easy to meet people there.
- Went to an Oktoberfest with them and Suhaas. Afterwards we got dinner at Noodle Village where we had a surprisingly great plate of soup dumplings and pretty good wonton soup.

Played an open mic!
- Practiced a lot this week to prep for it. Didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I think I spread myself too thin doing piano and vocals. Next time I’ll probably prioritize vocals.

Music update

This week is a double feature.

Wrapped up Japanese Denim from my singing lesson. Here’s the video I recorded for class.

And did an open mic.

I’m in a place where I’m doing a lot but wondering what it’s all going towards.

Still not sure exactly what I want. There’s a omnipresent sense of ambiguity in not having a permanent place and not knowing where I’ll be for the next few months.

I’ve also felt a bit complacent socially. Mostly just tagging along to whatever event Kelvin organized instead of taking charge and planning out events/reaching out to people I wanted to hang with.

There were also moments of apathy where I’d meet a new person for the nth time and it would feel like deja vu. The sense that (maybe I’m not digging deep enough but) most people are more or less doing the same thing.

BUT all that aside I shall trudge forward and figure out what I want to do.

Lastly before I forget this is the 1 year anniversary of this blog. Thanks for reading! Especially Andrew who’s pretty much read every post.

Volleyballin Out

September 15, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m laying in bed in my tiny Airbnb typing away listening to old Kpop.

I’m feeling great these days. I’ve fallen into a steady rhythm of work, volleyball, music, and seeing friends.

Things are far from perfect but I’m certain I’ll look back at this time as a peaceful, free time.

I must have stopped myself at least five times this week to marvel at the fact that I’m back in New York, living in the beautiful Upper West Side, able to see close friends every week.

why don’t more people like UWS? It’s so nice up here

Volleyball

I’m getting the most physical activity I’ve had in years. Started going to volleyball last week with the theory that I needed one artistic activity (music), one physical activity (volleyball), and one social/(spiritual) thing (church) to round out my life/meet new people.

We meet Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday at the courts in Riverside park. It’s a large group of randos (20-40 people) centered around a core group of regulars.

First time I went I was kinda nervous. I had a vague notion of wanting to play volleyball because of Haikyuu but the doubts lingered. Would I be athletic/tall/fast enough blah blah blah. Would I fit in.

People were pretty accommodating and those doubts, like usual, turned out to be dumb.

I was trash the first few games I played. After having gone almost every day last week I think I’ve gone from 4 —> 6 out of 10?

I’m getting the most sun I’ve had in years. Playing till dusk next to the Hudson watching the sun go down. Diving for the ball into the sand. Walking to the upper part of the park to doze off under the trees, exhausted from hours of playing. Getting aloe vera to slather on my sunburnt face. Wrapping my bleeding body (thumbs, random scratches, scraped knee) in bandaids. The thirty minute walks back and forth across Upper West Side. Looking at the beautiful buildings on the way listening to Korean city pop feeling simultaneously jealous and blessed to see them.

Pretty fun.

I think this was one of the best decisions I’ve made since coming back. Why didn’t I do something like this sooner?

Friends

Caught up with a number of friends that have either completely moved here or are visiting.

Rupert hosted a Baklava/Turkish Delight tasting party. This was the first time I’d seen him since the pandemic.
- Met a bunch of his friends, ate a ton of Baklava.
Dinner with Peter at Soba Noodle Azuma. Also the first time seeing him since our Thailand/Korea trip Winter 2019.
- Was sleep deprived but had fun

Watched Shang Chi at a company hosted event with Rupert. Afterwards Rupert snuck into the Saks Fifth fashion week show
- Was also sleep deprived. Movie was gooood. Thought it was a little overhyped.
- I admire that about Rupert. Always finding his way into hard places.
  - I want to get better at that. Get out of my comfort zone. Go to places I can’t normally get into.
Hung out with Kelvin and Will! The old trio back again. Got dinner at Kaoru
- At Kelvin’s suggestion I went to New York Acupuncture and Chiropractic before dinner and had the best massage of my life (this was after hours of weekend volleyball).
- Kaoru was pretty cool. Felt very japanese. Low tables. Buncha Japanese businessmen(?) drinking their heart outs after a long day of work.

Music

I’ve somewhat consistently (4 to 5 days a week) been getting ~an hour of music practice in each day. I’ve been going to Kaufman Music Center and booking piano rooms so I can sing my heart out without bothering the neighbors.

Still practicing for Japanese Denim. Michelle wants me to customize the song with my own phrasings, pitch, etc. to make it more “mine.”

Besides that I’ve been prepping for an open mic I’ve signed up for this Friday!

Between work, music, volleyball, and friends I feel like I’m running all over the place and it’s simultaneously exhausting and pretty fun. Would love to have my own place instead of this little fifth floor walkup Airbnb (appreciate u tho for real) but that’ll have to wait.

I talked to Harry the other day and it seems like we’re both in really great places. Back in the city, everything building up to a crescendo. Finding new places, new friends, new activities. Not a care in the world. What a great time to be alive.

On the not so great side my sleep schedule and dating life could use some work but I ain’t complaining.

Also my diet is all over the place. I’m usually too lazy to cook or get anything so I usually skip lunch and eat a bigger dinner later. I’ve inadvertently started losing weight because of this (and the exercise) which is great. But I also wanna cut down on the edibles/eating junk food.

72 on 72

September 05, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m sipping cold brew and writing from Irving Farm. For the last ten minutes I’ve been zoning out and inadvertently listening to the girl at the window talk about some drama that happened at a wedding she went to recently. She went with a date who was more of a friend and he was acting like a lil bitch is what I’ve gleaned so far.

I’ve been entertained by her tale so far but at this point too many people have entered and her story’s been drowned out by the ambient noise. Sorry for eavesdropping, window girl. You just speak so loud.

Been recovering from last night. In a larger sense recovering from my first week back in New York.

I was so amped up to do stuff now that I’m back in the city and I think I went a little too far. Trying to strike that delicate balance of alone time, loneliness, sociability, social fatigue. Balancing work, music, making new friends, tending old friends. The never ending balancing act.

All things considered not a bad slate of things to worry about.

Will I look back on this period as an easygoing, mostly carefree time? I think so.

It’s 72 on 72. Took a few minutes to get this rare shot

Back at it

Korean Meetup
Joined a Korean meetup to 1. Meet new people and 2. Get better at Korean. I joined the zoom chat (Hurricane Ida forced us to go online) for the week. A surprisingly diverse crowd of Koreans, non Koreans.

The format was to split up into small groups, spend ten minutes speaking in Korean, ten minutes speaking in English.

My first group consisted of a middle aged Korean man from Canada and a black woman in her 30s from the DMV area. The middle aged Korean man was an archetypal middle aged Korean man. Very heavy handed in steering the conversation. Kinda cheesy with a lot of dad humor. Got the idea that he probably went to Korean church. I accidentally cut him off in conversation at one point and felt simultaneously sorry and victorious.

The black woman was cool. She’d gotten into Korean through the usual route—K Dramas—and was planning on going to Korea at some point. We made small talk and taught the Korean dude some American slang (dead ass, ain’t, etc.).

My second pairing was with a Korean college student based in SoCal. We also made small talk (she’s studying nursing, her favorite gopchang restaurant in LA is Ahgassi Gopchang) until the time ran out.

I don’t know how much I’ll improve my Korean with this group but I’ll go again next week

Volleyball
Joined a volleyball meetup. This was my first time playing volleyball in years. I think I annoyed some teammates by not knowing any strategy but I had fun. I’ll watch some volleyball clips and be more prepared the next time I go.

Friends

Got soba and matcha beer with Frank at Cocoron. Got rice pudding at Rice to Riches. Cocoron had an interesting menu. Will go back again. Frank’s been working hard on some music. I want to keep up with him
Went to a picnic with Kelvin and his friends at Central Park. Met up with them again later at Kelvin’s place and drank a lil.
My dating life is picking up again

Music Update

Continuing Japanese Denim. Michelle says I need to enunciate my words more. Mom said the same thing to me before I left California…

I’ve started practicing out of Kaufman Music Center. I also bought a new mic (SM7B) and will start recording there.

Also wrapped up this demo song. Not planning on doing anything with it anytime soon but I’m glad I wrapped it up for now.

Departure / Back to New York

September 01, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing from the Joe and the Juice across the street from my Airbnb. i’ve been hanging out in UWS for the last few days and am loving it. Currently significantly sleep deprived and writing this post while I take a lil break from work.

Not much to report since the last post. The last week in California went pretty much as expected. Wrapped up a few things. Packed everything. Got ready to live out of my suitcase in NY for the next few months.

I remember laying on my sofa on one of my last nights in California. At that point I’d been living at home on and off since May(!!!).

Two thoughts on the eve of my departure

Probably won’t spend more than two weeks at a time at home.
- I think I’ll visit every quarter. Maybe one week in SF (or Seattle now that Andrew’s out there), two weeks at home, back to NY
I wish I’d treated/appreciated my family better. Not that I was constantly a dick or anything but I think there were moments of pettiness/jealousy/stepping on each other’s toes that I could have been better about.
- This hit me more right as I was leaving. The appreciation of what you have right as you’re about to lose it
- Just be grateful for what you have future Woody that’s all I ask

The last few days I spent walking around and singing karaoke with the fam.

Back to New York

My current living situation is a tiny Airbnb (150 sq ft) fifth floor walkup. The window is small enough that I yearn for more light during the day. Bright enough that it wakes me up when I want to sleep in. The toilet and the kitchen light stop working intermittently. There is a great rooftop to hang out on when I get too claustrophobic.

I love the location.

Upper West Side—the land of benches, cafes, and happy people. Sitting at Joe Coffee watching passersby through the window and struck with the thought that people here look so relaxed and happy.

Walking through the streets at night with Kelvin. Feeling that muggy, right after rain New York humidity on my skin. Seeing all these happy drinkers at the outside tables. Block after block of interesting restaurants and bars without the crowds of East Village. The sidewalks are so wide here.

The knowledge that Central Park and Riverside Park are right there.

Man I love it.

So far I haven’t done that much. Mostly settling in and seeing people again

Got dinner with Sylvia at Boka (the food was just aight). Talked about future plans/when she might move back to California
Finally got french dip sandwiches at Maison Pickle with Kelvin. This had been on my list from pre-pandemic. Sandwiches were great (and very filling… granted I was super hungry at this point). Also got drinks at Tiki Chick afterwards. Great outdoor seating, interesting drinks. Would go back again.

Besides that I’ve signed up for a few things

Volleyball meetup
Korean language meetup

I was a little concerned about living alone after spending so long with family. How would I spend my time? Would I get lonely?

My original idea was to marinate in that sense of loneliness. I’m so afraid of being alone but I want to embrace it. This poem always rattles around in the back of my mind:

Don’t surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft
My voice
So tender,
My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

Bars.

In any case I’m having a pretty good time. A good amount of lonely. Good amount of social.

Music Update

Moved onto Japanese Denim in my singing lesson repertoire. Michelle wants me to enunciate more.

Besides that I’ve started reading Writing Better Lyrics by Pat Pattison in the hopes of WRITING BETTER LYRICS.

So far it’s way too technical for my liking.

My question here is:

Do I power through with this book and start writing lyrics in a more structured way
Or do I just trust my instincts and practice writing more songs?

I’m leaning towards the latter.

Ay Bay Bay

August 26, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing from the sofa bed of our subterranean Bernal Heights Airbnb. The weather here is consistently cloudy. High 50s, Low 60s. Listening to Something to Feel by Mac Ayres as I write.

Feeling sleepy. Recovering from a loooong Lime ride, city hike, edibles yesterday. The plan is to go to Berkeley later and get coffee.

Coming back to the bay has been unexpectedly nostalgic. I left SF late 2018 to start my new job in NY. The day I left coincided with the 2018 California Wildfires (who knew there was a wiki entry). The city was dark with smoke and unbearable to breathe in.

All my time in NY I never looked back. In hindsight I think that’s because I lived in the shitty part of SF. Working in SOMA. Living in SOMA. Not much besides Metreon and MoMa.

In any case this recent trip to SF has been fire.

The Bay

Took the train/bus up to the bay. Arrived in San Mateo for ramen with ToAnnie and Harry at Taishoken Ramen. Decent tsukemen ramen (does all tsukemen taste fishy? Seems to be the case in every bowl I’ve had so far).

San Mateo’s pretty nice btw. Lots of good Asian food. Pleasant small town vibes. In our walk to get boba Annie explained that there’s a new initiative in all of the Caltrain stops to revamp the main streets. I love that idea. Felt like a nice community. Not the kind of place I’d want to settle down anytime soon, but a place I’d be happy to settle down in at some point in the far future.

We ended the night at ToAnnie’s apartment and played a board game called Necrons. Blood red moon from the smoke earlier that day. Cool breeze blowing through the open balcony door. Alternating roasting Tony as he thumbs through the manual for the thirtieth minute trying to figure out how to play the game. Fun night. Fun game too. Would definitely play again.

—

Started the next day at Dragon Beaux for dim sum. Harry and I had been here years ago and tried their foie gras fried rice. Some random day of celebration. That memory triggered other random memories of celebrations.

Celebrating our 24th birthday with Harry at In Situ, the restaurant in the MoMa that curates different dishes from restaurants around the world.Eating with Will and Ray at House of Prime Rib the week before leaving SF for NY. Dinner with Tony, Peter, Andrew, Karen (and BB?) at Alexander’s Steakhouse to celebrate Andrew’s engagement.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjS6bQ5OQ-o

Dragon Beaux was a feast. We walked off the food at Golden Gate Park. Found a random stream in the park and followed it upstream until we found the source. The infamous (enjoyable) cloudy weather kept us at a cool ~60 degrees.

Walked to the Sunset and went to Barbary Coast Sunset. Tried a Tet and Tonic (pretty good).

From there we got Lime scooters and rode down to Ocean Beach. Rode all the way uphill to Golden Gate Bridge. The cool cloudy weather. The wind zipping past as we sped down the hill (Harry and Tony ignored the stop signs. I was far more cautious). The beautiful blue ocean view. The lime scooter revving to its utmost ability carrying my fat ass up the steep incline. An inimitable experience. A moment that made me realize I could have done so much more in SF (and probably can do so much more in every setting).

From Golden Gate Bridge we rode down to Japantown and got tea at Tea Hut. Best grape tea I’ve had in my life. Ubered to the Metreon from there and hung out at the mall/went shopping. Got some Japanese cheese tarts

—

The next day Harry and I went to Berkeley. Walked around campus. Sat on my favorite bench. Expected to feel like a grandpa with all these new undergrads but damn there were some old looking undergrads on campus too.

Met up with Michelle and James at Tacos Sinaloa. We spent the next few hours catching up. Michelle’s been in the bay (Lake Merritt) since graduation working at a tech company. James has been pursuing the actor’s life (just booked his first lead role at the San Jose playhouse!). Reminisced about our memories from taking theater together. Our old professor Chris Herold (best teacher of my life so far). People we used to crush on in the theater department (oh Mimi where have you gone).

Walked around campus some more and that was that. I expected to feel a bit more nostalgic throughout the day but that feeling wasn’t there. Maybe because times have changed and settings have changes but the people I knew back then seem more or less the same.

—

Went back to the AirBnb at Bernal Heights

Took a bit of a siesta after Berkeley and later met with Sam, Chai and Rosie at Farmhouse Thai. My “main” friend group back in college. A subset of the group at least.

Was a bit surprised at how happy I was to see them. I’m the type of person that doesn’t realize how much they missed someone until that person is back in their life.

Food was great. Conversation was fun. Chai proposed we share our roses. Petals, thorn, root—where petals are things we enjoyed over the years we hadn’t seen each other, thorns are things we didn’t like, roots were what we were hoping for in the future (something like that I fucked it up probably). Sam got annoyed at the metaphor and refused to answer the question at first. I tried to back up my boy Chai and complimented the metaphor.

Sam and I reminisced about the period in senior year where we got into an extended yo momma battle over a few months. Apparently I would strike truces and betray him when the mood struck.

Rosie had to get home early (she’d come all the way from Berkeley). Sam, Chai and I got drinks at True Laurel and ended the night afterwards. SF bars close so damn early. Totally forgot about that. By 10PM they had the lights on and kept hovering near our table to pressure us to leave.

—

I was saddish in the days leading up to the SF trip. The idea that what I once had in certain friendships/groups could no longer be replicated. That we had scattered in the chaos like a billiard break to different pockets of life (how’s that for a simile?).

I don’t think this anymore. It’s easy enough to keep people a part of your life. Just make the effort. Hard to make the effort but just do it you lazy scumbag.

Well, fuck unless they’re dead. Luckily most of the people I know are still healthy and alive.

Music Update

On track to finish my draft song by end of this week.

Did my final performance for Hate Everything! Definitely feel like I learned a lot from this song. Never could have sung a song this high before so I’m improving for sure!

I still have issues staying on pitch when I’m recording/performing “for real”

Also struggled a bit with the highest notes BUT I’m getting there.

Deep Divin / Nard Life Part III

August 19, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

Sup fools. I’m writing from the one seater sofa in our living room listening to FKJ as Mom and Pop watch Korean TV at loud volume while washing dishes.

First off—FKJ. What a genius. Better insure the hell out of those hands buddy. I’ve also been listening to this live session on repeat. Hands like this make you realize there’s a lot to do in this world. Barely scratched the surface hallelujah!

Not that I’m aiming to get anywhere near as good on keyboard anytime soon but… something great to aspire to.

This week has flown by. I’ve been knees deep in work building out a new super secret game changer feature at work (just kidding don’t get your hopes up).

Work these days feels like I’m plunging into the deep end. In the depths taking meeting after meeting. Even during breaks when I come up for air I feel disoriented and out of touch. A part of me yearns to go back into the world of this feature I’m building out—a feature I’m not even particularly excited about/am starting to get exasperated by—and my thoughts swirl back to that. Stockholm syndrome.

I’m being slightly overdramatic but it lowkey feels this way.

Oxnard Week III

Since we last spoke a number of events have happened.

Mama came back from Korea! The day she got back we all met up with Sam and Ellie’s family in K Town. Mom loves them because they’re Korean twin girls. Both Berkeley alums so that’s pretty cool.
We got a new Karaoke machine! Ever since I’ve started vocal lessons I’ve been a real fuggin tryhard when it comes to singing in front of other people. Have my efforts paid off? Only my family can tell.
Met up with Yang. Our final hangout before Harry and I head off to east coast. Got boba. Got some lumpia from Mestiza Kitchen. Went mini golfing. And ended by watching Family Guy (have gotten back into Family Guy and Wild n Out) at home. Pretty fun day

What does the dog dream of, staring wistfully out the window. A better life? A snack? A lover lost to the flowing rapids of time? We may never know. Perhaps that is for the best. Keep your secrets dog.

Hung out with Erika, Alyssa and the rest of the Yoons at Point Mugu. Hadn’t seen Alyssa in years. Wild how much she’s grown
Hung out with Sam and Ellie at Point Mugu the next day. They both just graduated from college so they’re working out their careers. Sam had just started her job as a PM. Conversations about how unbearable the next few decades could be as a worker drone. Been a long time since I felt that way. I think at some point I got too busy/concerned with performance that I stopped thinking about stuff like that.
- Someone at work who recently came back from a 4 week sabbatical asked me whether I had the patience to wait till the 4 year mark for my sabbatical… I have no idea as of this moment.
- I think the “best” benefit of a sabbatical would the clear demarcation of a before and after. Do you feel any different after you come back? I’m guessing not.
- Contrasting this with Pop’s experience of working 30 years at the same company. Cannot fathom that period of time going by like that. But time flies.
Went on a buncha walks

wtf is this? Stumbled upon it in a neighbor’s yard. I’m guessing an Among Us dude with bunny ears? Great effort whatever this is

Music Update

Missed my last check in date with Andrew (was supposed to have my lyrics finished for my current song). Ended up paying him $20. Never again.

My next check in is end of this week where I have to have recorded/produced the rest of the song.

Rest of week is kinda busy but I should be able to make it.

I have my next lesson with Michelle tomorrow. We’re scheduled to record my rendition of Hate Everything (Golden). I think I can do a decent job.

Lastly, got a callback for the next audition for that choir I auditioned for! Well to be clear I got off the waitlist. Either way still counting it as a win. Since I won’t be in NY that long the rest of the year and I don’t know how to sight read vocal choral music I’m skipping the rest of the audition process.

Nard Life Part II / New Habits / Old Friends

August 12, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing from my bedroom desk in Oxnard. My bedroom is cluttered af and I definitely need to clean. Mama’s comin home tomorrow from Korea! She’s been gone a month so pops is scrambling to get the house in order before she gets back.

It’s been a great day. Finally got a good night’s sleep after taking melatonin and nodding off after a few hours of Wild n Out and The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles.

Spoke to my manager earlier today and she cleared my workation! Europe here we come! Still very much up in the air but will probably be in Europe for a few weeks during Autumn. Haven’t decided exactly where we’ll (me and Harry for now) go but I definitely want to hit up Portugal.

Besides that I got my new computer from work. Moved the majority of my music samples/plugin data to my new SSD. Samsung T7—idk why I love it so much but I do. This small hunk of metal brings me joy every time I look at it. The thought that I have so much portability… AHHHH I love it. Also stuck on this sick new sticker that Glo sent me. They’re starting a new sticker business which is awesome.

New Habits

Not much of an update this week. Didn’t do much besides work and hobbies. Over the weekend we went to Gen BBQ to hang out with papa’s friends (old friends from Cincinnati that moved to California).

hot cheeto esquites (butter, corn, mayo, hot cheetos, cheese) at La Michoacana Azteca

Besides that just tumbled around the house and walked around the neighborhood.

I think it was a decently productive week. Spent a good amount of time practicing singing.

Besides that I’ve been trying to revamp my habits.

Set hard time limits of 10PM on Youtube/video games so I don’t stay up too late
Installed a dedicated porn blocker
Changed my eating habits so I block out processed foods and generally eat healthier/less during the day. These days I end up eating
- 2 eggs for lunch
- 1 avocado snack and/or smoothie
- Whatever papa cooks for dinner

Old Friends

Feeling pretty good so far. I’ve noticed that in the absence of TV post 10PM I end up going through old photos and reminiscing a lot. Reminiscing to the point where I can’t fall asleep because I think about all the people that have entered and left my life.

It’s hard to hold onto people. But at the same time it’s easy to change that.

What’s the statute of limitations on an expired friendship? At what point does it get too weird to reach out? 5 years definitely seems ok. Anything past that is pushing it.

But then again you never know who will re-enter your life. Never thought I’d see Brandon again—a childhood acquaintance from Cincinnati that I ended up reconnecting with at my office in NY.

Also wouldn’t have guessed that I’d reconnect with Sherry and Frank—two friends I met at a summer camp before Junior year in high school.

I am not great at keeping some friendships alive but I’m working on it. The biggest issue is neglect more than anything else. You get busy or distracted and distance or time wilts the relationship.

Would be cool to have a tool that periodically reminds you to reach out to certain friends. Say you list out n friends you don’t want to lose and the tool occasionally notifies you to say hi or send a meme if you haven’t talked to a particular friend in a while.

Maybe I’ll build it out at some point.

In any case I’ve been reaching out to old friends in the bay. See them before I head over to NY. CS friends, roommate friends, theater friends. Everyone who will see me.

Music Update

Getting better for sure. Michelle said I’d definitely worked on my vocal runs. I’m able to hit the high notes in Hate Everything (Golden) but I want to work on consistency.

Michelle mentioned she’s going to film me next week so I definitely want to not embarrass myself on camera.

Besides that I sent in an audition recording to Young New Yorkers’ Chorus and was waitlisted for the next audition stage :\

I don’t know if a choir is feasible this season if I’m doing my workation but I’ll try again next semester.

Also struck an accountability deal with Andrew where I have to reach certain milestones by specific dates

Have lyrics finished for my demo song by 15th
Finish recording/producing by 22nd
Finish mixing of demo by end of month

Home Again / Reply 1988

August 03, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m sitting at the dining room table in the Oxnard house writing while I munch on some tortilla chips. It’s been a very straightforward week. One of those straightforward, monotonous weeks where every day seems so similar you forget exactly how it went down. I don’t mean this in a bad way.

This week actually felt great. A very idyllic, relaxing Southern California week. Lots of sunshine. A good amount of walking the neighborhood. Mom’s still in Korea so I spent most of the time with Dad and Harry. Unexpectedly due to Mom’s absence I find myself hanging out with Dad more and enjoying his company.

There was a line in Reply 1988 where a documentary crew asks the main character if she’d go back to her childhood. Deuksun replies she would go back just to see parents. Back when they were “young and seemed as big as mountains.”

I think I’m catching myself in that transition between the past and the future. Before I was too young and focused on myself to notice or care that time was passing by, that all of us were growing older. Now—in my mid/late twenties—I feel more aware of this than ever before.

I used to be very anal about time passing. Even last year there were moments when I’d constantly feel a ticking clock. A countdown pressuring me to stop wasting my time and focus on the “right” things before it’s too late. Fuck that sheeeeit.

If I worry too much about running out of time I’ll never properly focus on the present. Always looking behind or ahead but never in front.

Also I get the feeling that life may be longer than I currently expect (hope hope hope hope hope so). Right now I expect to live to maybe 80-100 but I’ve been watching David Sinclair’s talk on reverse aging in my spare time at work. It looks pretty promising. Maybe we could hit 150 no problem. Wouldn’t that be a great age to live to? Have like three different careers. Live in all the different countries you want. Good deal.

Anyways, some notable moments of the week:

Went to Texas de Brazil with Harry and Papa. This was my second time going to a Brazilian barbecue spot. This place was great. $50 all you can eat Brazilian meats. Really liked the scalloped potatoes and the lobster bisque (was there a hint of honey that I tasted? Will have to go back to confirm 🌚)
Hung out with Yang! He, Harry and I played a board game (Here to Slay) and rode around the neighborhood.
Went back to Ozeki Noodle for Soba and Gyudon. Reminded me of all of last Summer when I was living alone in Brooklyn in the midst of Covid and made cold Soba on a near daily basis. What a time.
- I would love to learn how to make Gyudon some day. I’m so lazy when it comes to cooking that I’ll probably get around to it in a few years.

neighborhood cat stalks its prey. What a handsome cat.

back at it with the sardines. Ortiz was great. Very rich but not overwhelmingly so. Haven’t tried Nuri yet but am excited to try after watching this. — back at it with the sardines. Ortiz was great. Very rich but not overwhelmingly so. Haven’t tried Nuri yet but am excited to try after watching *this*.

Reply 1988

Hands down one of the best three K Dramas I’ve seen in my life (others currently include Misaeng and Hospital Playlist).

A slice of life historical drama about 5 neighborhood kids (and their families) as they finish high school during the late eighties in Korea.

Something that fascinated me while I watched: I couldn’t remember the last time I watched a show with so much love. There are no deep conflicts or even much drama. It’s mostly love and kindness and sacrificing for the sake of others.

Another fascinating aspect was the community. The show focuses on a neighborhood with a core of 4-5 families. They eat together, drink together, walk into each other’s apartments unannounced, babysit for each other, study together, play together, shop together, gossip together, go to funerals/wedding/birthdays together. Almost every aspect of life submits to this sense of community.

That kind of community doesn’t exist anymore (unless you happen to live in a really small town or something?) but how wonderful would that be? To live on the same street with 4-5 of your closest friends. College was the best shot you had at something like this. How do you do this as an adult?

Overall loved this show. Watched almost every episode alone because I’d cry so much while watching (the beauty and sadness in life and love!!). Cry so much to the point my tear ducts almost felt fatigued. Cry so much I start to wonder at how many tears my eyeballs can produce. Maybe I’m just overly sentimental.

Was also great for absorbing the pop culture and historical context of Korea in the 1980s. Political protests. Crushing on Chinese actresses (Joey Wang?? Maggie Cheung). Lee Moon Sae. Discotheques. Studying your ass off for college entrance exams. Also apparently there was a law where you couldn’t marry someone with the same last name as you…

Music Update

Been diligently practicing singing. Walked into the last session with Michelle all confident that I’d hit the high notes. I half debated walking in with the announcement that this week’s song would be one and done. Boy was I wrong. I ended the session super tired (physically and emotionally). Michelle semi-enthusiastically said “good job this week” and gave me a lollipop as I walked out the door. That made me feel slightly worse (enjoyed the lollipop though).

But maybe I'm being overly pessimistic. Maybe I had indeed done a good job that week.

In any case I think I’ve improved significantly since my first lesson.

This week’s practice leaves me a little anxious about tomorrow’s performance. I can hit the high notes, just not consistently. I can sing the notes but not with ease or style.

Also the vocal runs in this song are D A U N T I N G. I can’t even tell which notes are being hit for some of them. I listened to this one at least ten times (even at 0.25 speed) and I honestly cannot tell what notes are sung at what time, much less replicate it.

Well, so it goes. The road ahead is unclear but I’ll trust the process and trust that I’ll improve over time.

San Diego / Never Let Me Go

July 27, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

Let’s make this one a speedrun. I’m sitting at the kitchen table in the Oxnard home. It is just past 9pm. Papa is cooking tomorrow’s lunch on the stove. Fried tofu and Korean corndogs. Yum.

San Diego / Week in Review

This past week I mostly spent sick and in bed. Caught up a lot on Reply 1988. Pretty enjoyable so far. One of the most popular K dramas of all time. A slice of life/peek into Korea during the late 80s.

Besides that the week really passed by in a blur.

Harry, Dad and I went to San Diego for a quick weekend trip. Harry went off the first day to hang out with an old college friend.

mmm yes lemme get that delicious car wash burrito. — mmm yes lemme get that delicious car wash burrito

Pops and I started off in Old Town. Got a mediocre lunch at Coyote Cafe (got the California burrito). Migraine driven by sleep deprivation. Pangs of deep hunger before the food arrived. Not the best time.

Did a city bus tour all across. Was surprised by how naturally beautiful the city is, as well as how beautiful the buildings are. Why are the buildings in San Diego so innovate, interesting to look at?

Swung by Coronado. Very pleasant small town vibes. Reminded me of Catalina Island but better. Small town feelings that I am simultaneously envious of/deeply curious about. I’d imagine it’s the type of place you really get to know your community.

Went to Balboa Park. Overcast, perfect 65-70 degree weather. Zoomin around the park on Birds with Pops. Watching all the attractive girls wander by. Migraine lifted. A near perfect series of moments/feelings.

Ubered over to Embarcadero and walked the pier.

Eventually linked up with Harry, his friend John, and John’s brother Justin. We drove out to a neighborhood near Claremont that felt very reminiscent of K Town, but with other ethnicities mixed in. Strip malls. H Mart. Korean Barbecue. Korean fried chicken. Chinese massage parlors. Chinese Karaoke. Izakayas. Vietnamese restaurants. A beautiful mix of the best of the best of Asian America. Why don’t we have more of these mixed areas? Coming from the context of LA, NY, SF, most ethnicities have their dedicated zones. K town. Chinatown. Little Tokyo. Pretty cool/convenient to have them all mixed up. I’m sure there’s a historical reason.

We ended up at Fusion Izakaya 52 for a pretty good dinner of beer and sushi.

The following day (Sunday) we did a great brunch at Casa Guadalajara where I had a wonderful plate of chilaquiles. I’m on a chilaquiles trend these days.

We took the Amtrak back where I finished Haruki Murakami’s First Person Singular. Some interesting stories here and there but not nearly as enjoyable as some of his other short story collections.

Some thoughts on Amtrak:

Having spent time with the fam in a new city, having seen all these small towns/cities on the train ride home. Brief glimpses into entire lives and societies revolving around places I had never been/probably would never go. Pulling into the Oxnard stop with the realization that I was just one of those random lives revolving around a random city that so many people would pass by on their own Amtrak with barely a thought.

Never Let Me Go

On the ride back I also started reading Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go.

WOW.

Hands down the best book I’ve read this year. One of the best books I’ve ever read. Read through in 3-4 hours. Could not put it down. Put me in a very weird mood.

Here’s what I wrote after I finished (an earlier draft of this week’s post):

It’s almost 8pm PST. I’m sitting at the kitchen table having eaten a light dinner of doenjang jigae and sardines munching on some dessert frozen blueberries and I’m still reeling from having read Never Let Me Go*.
I got home a couple hours ago from our weekend trip to San Diego (me, Harry, and Dad while Mom’s off in Korea). What a weird feeling.
I’m sure part of it is from having read the book. Really the best book I’ve read all year. Can’t remember the last time I was so disoriented from having finished a book. I laid in bed a couple minutes after finishing trying to absorb/process it all.
Kind of that feeling I had going back home as a kid on the last day of a long summer camp. The feeling that a new world/perspective had taken root but I was on my way home to that old point of view.

*not only did I lay in bed for almost ten minutes staring at my ceiling thinking about what I’d just read, I also went out to the backyard and walked around aimlessly trying to shake off that eery feeling.

Not sure what exactly that book did to me (pretty much back to normal now). I think a part of it was how vivid the author’s imagination was. So strongly imagined that I was sucked into that world and coming back out of it felt weird. Far far far back in my mind it almost felt as if that world I’d just been reading was a real one. Something plucked from an alternate timeline into this one*.

Honestly was shook. And maybe I can explain it away as being a little sleep deprived but actually I think it was mainly because of how good the book was.

* how wild would that be? years years years into the future we discover that deeply imagining something is actually a method of creating links between different realities. I’m a lil embarrassed to write this out loud but man what a cool idea.

Music Update

I am really enjoying the singing lessons. I actually feel myself improving. What a wonderful feeling, to—in real time—understand and experience growth in something you enjoy doing.

As I was singing my heart out I was struck by a (in hindsight) simple, groundbreaking idea:

There are different ways to sing a melody.

This came as a shock to me, a poor simpleton who had previously attempted to sing almost everything in chest voice. A poor simpleton who, previously, would only ever sing in mixed voice by pure luck or accident. Someone who would force his poor throat muscles to nearly squeal out the high notes…

You don’t always have to force your chest voice to make up for power. Isolating your mixed voice seems to drive more power there (instead of spreading that power over both mixed and chest voice). When I first stumbled upon singing with just my mixed voice, it almost felt like I was “restraining” my voice back, which I guess is exactly what I was doing.

I was shocked that holding back part of my voice makes the other part even more powerful.

Another mini revelation: there are different amounts of chest voice you can mix into your mixed voice. It doesn’t seem to be a binary choice. More of a spectrum.

Yet another thought: mixed voice seems to resonate in your nose/mouth area.

Granted, these are all just ideas that feel right to me in this moment so take them with a grain of salt. I want to actually confirm them with my vocal coach.

I’m currently working on Hate Everything by Golden. Just graduated from singing Best Part by Daniel Caesar.

The knowledge that I’m getting better. The knowledge that I have other unknown unknowns that I have yet to discover. Makes me feel real good.