Gloomin
This post is a gloomy one.
I’ve started writing this post late (10PM) from my office.
I am the only one on this floor and that’s how I like it baby.
Came out here earlier to escape my tiny ass claustrophobic apartment. Just to be with other people. That thin line of being surrounded by other related people but not having to socialize with them.
The honeymoon period of being back in NY is wearing off a little. I’m starting to realize that I’m living solo in a big ass city staying in a tiny ass Airbnb. The only thing that keeps me company through the lonely nights is the sound of my constantly running AC 🥲.
I’ve been out of it the last few days. A combination of being bone-deep sore from volleyball and being cooped up in the tiny apartment.
All in all though it’s been a pretty active week.
Played a lot of volleyball. Dunked on a few fools and got in some good blocks. Sunscreened to the max and my face didn’t burn this time
Reached a milestone with my volleyball group! Got dinner with them after a session and got added to a group chat. Nick also graciously paid for our table’s dinner. What a good dude
Hung out a lot with William and Kelvin.
Been going over to Kelvin’s a lot. His place is huge and he hosts a lot of random events so it’s easy to meet people there.
Went to an Oktoberfest with them and Suhaas. Afterwards we got dinner at Noodle Village where we had a surprisingly great plate of soup dumplings and pretty good wonton soup.
Played an open mic!
Practiced a lot this week to prep for it. Didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I think I spread myself too thin doing piano and vocals. Next time I’ll probably prioritize vocals.
Music update
This week is a double feature.
Wrapped up Japanese Denim from my singing lesson. Here’s the video I recorded for class.
And did an open mic.
I’m in a place where I’m doing a lot but wondering what it’s all going towards.
Still not sure exactly what I want. There’s a omnipresent sense of ambiguity in not having a permanent place and not knowing where I’ll be for the next few months.
I’ve also felt a bit complacent socially. Mostly just tagging along to whatever event Kelvin organized instead of taking charge and planning out events/reaching out to people I wanted to hang with.
There were also moments of apathy where I’d meet a new person for the nth time and it would feel like deja vu. The sense that (maybe I’m not digging deep enough but) most people are more or less doing the same thing.
BUT all that aside I shall trudge forward and figure out what I want to do.
Lastly before I forget this is the 1 year anniversary of this blog. Thanks for reading! Especially Andrew who’s pretty much read every post.