Gloomin

September 20, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

This post is a gloomy one.

I’ve started writing this post late (10PM) from my office.

I am the only one on this floor and that’s how I like it baby.

Came out here earlier to escape my tiny ass claustrophobic apartment. Just to be with other people. That thin line of being surrounded by other related people but not having to socialize with them.

The honeymoon period of being back in NY is wearing off a little. I’m starting to realize that I’m living solo in a big ass city staying in a tiny ass Airbnb. The only thing that keeps me company through the lonely nights is the sound of my constantly running AC 🥲.

I’ve been out of it the last few days. A combination of being bone-deep sore from volleyball and being cooped up in the tiny apartment.

All in all though it’s been a pretty active week.

Played a lot of volleyball. Dunked on a few fools and got in some good blocks. Sunscreened to the max and my face didn’t burn this time
- Reached a milestone with my volleyball group! Got dinner with them after a session and got added to a group chat. Nick also graciously paid for our table’s dinner. What a good dude
Hung out a lot with William and Kelvin.
- Been going over to Kelvin’s a lot. His place is huge and he hosts a lot of random events so it’s easy to meet people there.
- Went to an Oktoberfest with them and Suhaas. Afterwards we got dinner at Noodle Village where we had a surprisingly great plate of soup dumplings and pretty good wonton soup.

Played an open mic!
- Practiced a lot this week to prep for it. Didn’t do as well as I wanted to. I think I spread myself too thin doing piano and vocals. Next time I’ll probably prioritize vocals.

Music update

This week is a double feature.

Wrapped up Japanese Denim from my singing lesson. Here’s the video I recorded for class.

And did an open mic.

I’m in a place where I’m doing a lot but wondering what it’s all going towards.

Still not sure exactly what I want. There’s a omnipresent sense of ambiguity in not having a permanent place and not knowing where I’ll be for the next few months.

I’ve also felt a bit complacent socially. Mostly just tagging along to whatever event Kelvin organized instead of taking charge and planning out events/reaching out to people I wanted to hang with.

There were also moments of apathy where I’d meet a new person for the nth time and it would feel like deja vu. The sense that (maybe I’m not digging deep enough but) most people are more or less doing the same thing.

BUT all that aside I shall trudge forward and figure out what I want to do.

Lastly before I forget this is the 1 year anniversary of this blog. Thanks for reading! Especially Andrew who’s pretty much read every post.

Volleyballin Out

September 15, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m laying in bed in my tiny Airbnb typing away listening to old Kpop.

I’m feeling great these days. I’ve fallen into a steady rhythm of work, volleyball, music, and seeing friends.

Things are far from perfect but I’m certain I’ll look back at this time as a peaceful, free time.

I must have stopped myself at least five times this week to marvel at the fact that I’m back in New York, living in the beautiful Upper West Side, able to see close friends every week.

why don’t more people like UWS? It’s so nice up here

Volleyball

I’m getting the most physical activity I’ve had in years. Started going to volleyball last week with the theory that I needed one artistic activity (music), one physical activity (volleyball), and one social/(spiritual) thing (church) to round out my life/meet new people.

We meet Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday at the courts in Riverside park. It’s a large group of randos (20-40 people) centered around a core group of regulars.

First time I went I was kinda nervous. I had a vague notion of wanting to play volleyball because of Haikyuu but the doubts lingered. Would I be athletic/tall/fast enough blah blah blah. Would I fit in.

People were pretty accommodating and those doubts, like usual, turned out to be dumb.

I was trash the first few games I played. After having gone almost every day last week I think I’ve gone from 4 —> 6 out of 10?

I’m getting the most sun I’ve had in years. Playing till dusk next to the Hudson watching the sun go down. Diving for the ball into the sand. Walking to the upper part of the park to doze off under the trees, exhausted from hours of playing. Getting aloe vera to slather on my sunburnt face. Wrapping my bleeding body (thumbs, random scratches, scraped knee) in bandaids. The thirty minute walks back and forth across Upper West Side. Looking at the beautiful buildings on the way listening to Korean city pop feeling simultaneously jealous and blessed to see them.

Pretty fun.

I think this was one of the best decisions I’ve made since coming back. Why didn’t I do something like this sooner?

Friends

Caught up with a number of friends that have either completely moved here or are visiting.

Rupert hosted a Baklava/Turkish Delight tasting party. This was the first time I’d seen him since the pandemic.
- Met a bunch of his friends, ate a ton of Baklava.
Dinner with Peter at Soba Noodle Azuma. Also the first time seeing him since our Thailand/Korea trip Winter 2019.
- Was sleep deprived but had fun

Watched Shang Chi at a company hosted event with Rupert. Afterwards Rupert snuck into the Saks Fifth fashion week show
- Was also sleep deprived. Movie was gooood. Thought it was a little overhyped.
- I admire that about Rupert. Always finding his way into hard places.
  - I want to get better at that. Get out of my comfort zone. Go to places I can’t normally get into.
Hung out with Kelvin and Will! The old trio back again. Got dinner at Kaoru
- At Kelvin’s suggestion I went to New York Acupuncture and Chiropractic before dinner and had the best massage of my life (this was after hours of weekend volleyball).
- Kaoru was pretty cool. Felt very japanese. Low tables. Buncha Japanese businessmen(?) drinking their heart outs after a long day of work.

Music

I’ve somewhat consistently (4 to 5 days a week) been getting ~an hour of music practice in each day. I’ve been going to Kaufman Music Center and booking piano rooms so I can sing my heart out without bothering the neighbors.

Still practicing for Japanese Denim. Michelle wants me to customize the song with my own phrasings, pitch, etc. to make it more “mine.”

Besides that I’ve been prepping for an open mic I’ve signed up for this Friday!

Between work, music, volleyball, and friends I feel like I’m running all over the place and it’s simultaneously exhausting and pretty fun. Would love to have my own place instead of this little fifth floor walkup Airbnb (appreciate u tho for real) but that’ll have to wait.

I talked to Harry the other day and it seems like we’re both in really great places. Back in the city, everything building up to a crescendo. Finding new places, new friends, new activities. Not a care in the world. What a great time to be alive.

On the not so great side my sleep schedule and dating life could use some work but I ain’t complaining.

Also my diet is all over the place. I’m usually too lazy to cook or get anything so I usually skip lunch and eat a bigger dinner later. I’ve inadvertently started losing weight because of this (and the exercise) which is great. But I also wanna cut down on the edibles/eating junk food.

Departure / Back to New York

September 01, 2021 by Lostinthewoodz

I’m writing from the Joe and the Juice across the street from my Airbnb. i’ve been hanging out in UWS for the last few days and am loving it. Currently significantly sleep deprived and writing this post while I take a lil break from work.

Not much to report since the last post. The last week in California went pretty much as expected. Wrapped up a few things. Packed everything. Got ready to live out of my suitcase in NY for the next few months.

I remember laying on my sofa on one of my last nights in California. At that point I’d been living at home on and off since May(!!!).

Two thoughts on the eve of my departure

Probably won’t spend more than two weeks at a time at home.
- I think I’ll visit every quarter. Maybe one week in SF (or Seattle now that Andrew’s out there), two weeks at home, back to NY
I wish I’d treated/appreciated my family better. Not that I was constantly a dick or anything but I think there were moments of pettiness/jealousy/stepping on each other’s toes that I could have been better about.
- This hit me more right as I was leaving. The appreciation of what you have right as you’re about to lose it
- Just be grateful for what you have future Woody that’s all I ask

The last few days I spent walking around and singing karaoke with the fam.

Back to New York

My current living situation is a tiny Airbnb (150 sq ft) fifth floor walkup. The window is small enough that I yearn for more light during the day. Bright enough that it wakes me up when I want to sleep in. The toilet and the kitchen light stop working intermittently. There is a great rooftop to hang out on when I get too claustrophobic.

I love the location.

Upper West Side—the land of benches, cafes, and happy people. Sitting at Joe Coffee watching passersby through the window and struck with the thought that people here look so relaxed and happy.

Walking through the streets at night with Kelvin. Feeling that muggy, right after rain New York humidity on my skin. Seeing all these happy drinkers at the outside tables. Block after block of interesting restaurants and bars without the crowds of East Village. The sidewalks are so wide here.

The knowledge that Central Park and Riverside Park are right there.

Man I love it.

So far I haven’t done that much. Mostly settling in and seeing people again

Got dinner with Sylvia at Boka (the food was just aight). Talked about future plans/when she might move back to California
Finally got french dip sandwiches at Maison Pickle with Kelvin. This had been on my list from pre-pandemic. Sandwiches were great (and very filling… granted I was super hungry at this point). Also got drinks at Tiki Chick afterwards. Great outdoor seating, interesting drinks. Would go back again.

Besides that I’ve signed up for a few things

Volleyball meetup
Korean language meetup

I was a little concerned about living alone after spending so long with family. How would I spend my time? Would I get lonely?

My original idea was to marinate in that sense of loneliness. I’m so afraid of being alone but I want to embrace it. This poem always rattles around in the back of my mind:

Don’t surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft
My voice
So tender,
My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

Bars.

In any case I’m having a pretty good time. A good amount of lonely. Good amount of social.

Music Update

Moved onto Japanese Denim in my singing lesson repertoire. Michelle wants me to enunciate more.

Besides that I’ve started reading Writing Better Lyrics by Pat Pattison in the hopes of WRITING BETTER LYRICS.

So far it’s way too technical for my liking.

My question here is:

Do I power through with this book and start writing lyrics in a more structured way
Or do I just trust my instincts and practice writing more songs?

I’m leaning towards the latter.