Discomfort (NYC) — Lostinthewoodz

Discomfort (NYC)

Gonna make this reaaaal quick because I’m in a bit of a rush to leave the house.

I am fully BACK in NYC. The trials, tribulations and potential glory of living in this city.

The grind baby. The GRIND.

Tough transition but I feel good. I have already gotten my ass kicked since coming back but I am ready to get up again.

I’ve run my mouth around friends about moving back to LA. Someone asked me recently what criteria I looked for in the place I live. I responded that I wanted to be in a place where I could grow the most.

In this exact moment I think that place is NYC not LA.

It’s high stakes here. The highest highs, the lowest lows. Someday this city may burn me out but until that day comes I want to be the kind of person that can weather the storm and chase after my stupid lil dreams.

Only after I feel like I’ve thrown every morsel of myself into this insatiable dream—when all my resources are exhausted and the only recourse left is D E S P A I R—can I allow myself to admit defeat and run away.

I will try my best so that day never comes.

I’ve lived so much of my life in comfort. Comfortable school. Comfortable college. Comfortable job.

Nothing wrong with comfort. But most growth comes by discomfort and pain. The forest grows back stronger after a brush fire.

NYC is a place of discomfort. As I am wont to do I try my very best to avoid discomfort when I should attempt to do the opposite.

I will only grow in this place if I make it easier to do the uncomfortable.

In the last week:

Had a great time at Gomo’s house in Palisades Park. Home away from home. Nice to have family in the area. Had a pleasantly suburban weekend there. Went to the American Dream mall—biggest, most opulent mall I’ve been to in America—and wandered the shops.
Started my musical improv class. As I suspected, the combination of acting and singing was pretty fun. This is my third improv class so far. The beginning is always uncomfortable and fun. Sizing up everyone else in the class. Seeing how you compare and figuring out how you can stand out.
- I’ve wondered a few times if I’m too competitive here. Maybe it’s better to compete with myself vs externally. But each scene consists of 7-8 people and there are only 3-5 opportunities to sing a solo part. I don’t wanna be stuck in just the chorus. My background dance skills are shit anyways.