Vancouver / Halloween / Back to NYC
It is five am. I’m laying in darkness as I’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past hour. Harry’s snoring woke me up (I don’t blame him though) and I haven’t been able to sleep since.
I think it was good that I woke up. I woke up with a lot of thoughts running through my mind. The mid night clarity hit hard and it feels good to have thought some things through.
Life moves so so so quickly lately. Part of me marvels (with some panic) at the rate it’s all passing by. The logical side of me wonders whether I can logistically maneuver my way into a slower life.
I’m pretty sure I can. I think back to Dunbar in catch 22 who would purposely do things he hated to prolong his sense of time. I don’t agree with that but I think he was on to something.
This blog also is a way of slowing time down. Preserving snapshots of who I was and what I experienced during periods of my life’s. The highs and lows and everything in between. All the wonderful people I met and all the amazing places I’ve been. I sound so sentimental right now but I guess it’s fitting given HOW QUICK IT ALL GOES!!!
I don’t know if it’s the passage of time or a biological thing but life all seems to blur together lately. Maybe it’s because when you’re young everything’s new. Literally you’re doing so many things for the first time.
At my age and beyond you start to run out of firsts, which can be a little sad if you accept it at face value. Or you can rage against the walls closing in and create new things to experience / enjoy.
Writing now from my basement room in Long Island City. I landed last Friday. Went to Tara’s band show Saturday afternoon, Matt’s Halloween party Saturday night and finally home now.
I must have made the trip between LA and NY at least fifteen times in the last six years. Weird to reflect that I’ve been in this city for so long. Also weird to reflect how quickly life can change.
Even just four months ago, I was all ready to leave. To put a stamp on the end of my time in NY and start building a life in LA.
Now it’s November, I’m in NY indefinitely and I also have a girlfriend on top of that.
I am pretty happy overall. I think lately I just need to slow time down. And that’s mostly a matter of better time management than anything else.
I want to spend time with Tara, spend time with my friends and spend time alone. Also work out 3-4 times a week. The rest should follow.
I’m also at the tail end of my 10 days off work. The Monday blues approach.
I think the best I can do at this phase of my life is to build a life where I feel more in control instead of feeling like it’s all passing by me. They say that after thirty your time goes even faster. With more responsibilities, family matters, etc.
I want to be ready for all that.
Besides that, for the past week I’ve been traveling with family from Vancouver to Banff. One of the best family trips to date. The older I get the more I realize
How rare it is for our family to get along so well with each other.
How (potentially) fleeting these times will be in the future. And how all of it should be appreciated as so
Man maybe I’m just in a sentimental mood lately but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all passing by so quickly.
Anyways, super fun. Beautiful scenery. Can’t wait to do something like this again.