Oxnard For the Holidays / Habits (this time for real?)

I’m writing from the Coffee Bean on Rose Ave. Back in Oxnard for Thanksgiving.

Almost every time I’ve left NY in the past year I left with a sense of relief. Each departure felt like a tactical retreat—an opportunity to lay low and muster energy to charge back into the city.

Not this time around.

Life in NYC has been good lately. I think it’s because I’ve achieved a sense of homeostasis.

I have a good job. Good friends. Good hobbies. Good routine. A good, simple, pleasant life.

But now that I have the foundation down I want to aim higher.

Amidst the comfort, a small voice raises dissent—

Is this it? Is it enough? Is it ok to stay in this comfortable place?

The answer is NO!

nice lil sunset view from the office

Habits (this time for real?)

Lately whenever I have down time I go straight for TV or my switch. Whenever I’m waiting for the train I reach for Twitter or Instagram.

I go for the convenient thing too frequently and it’s driving me crazy.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with the convenient thing. But when the convenient thing consistently becomes the substitute for the real thing it becomes a huge problem.

e.g.

  • TV becomes a substitute for human interaction

  • Junk food becomes the substitute for nutrition

  • Porn becomes the substitute for romance

  • Twitter becomes the substitute for thinking thoughts of your own

And so on.

I’ve tried going cold turkey and living a spartan lifestyle (cutting out all TV, Twitter, Reddit, etc.) but that doesn’t feel sustainable. Some event comes along (going on vacation, hosting a guest, etc.) and the pent up demand leads me to binge like crazy.

I think the move here is to be ON during the week (Mon-Thurs) and OFF during the weekend (Friday-Sun).

Be pretty strict and keep a healthy state of body, mind during the week but let myself indulge on the weekends.

During my ON periods I’ll have more time on my hands. I want to use this time to

  • read more

  • workout more

  • produce music more

Seems like a good plan. Will report back after some time.

Overall it was a chill week.

funny lil bear sign near my apt. Not sure what the point of it is but it’s pretty cute

  • When I first moved to NY, Harry came along to keep me company. One of the first things we did was watch Mike Birbiglia’s show on Broadway—The New One. Harry visited NY this week. This time around we followed that tradition and watched his new show—The Old Man and the Pool.

    • The new show was not as good but traditions are traditions…

pre show rush to eat halal

tall ass dude in front of me kept leaning forward and blocking my view. just lean back and enjoy the show >:(

  • Celebrated Helen’s birthday at Kelvin’s newly furnished apartment!

    • Feels like I’m at a turning point of sorts. Something about this event—being in my late 20s, celebrating someone’s late 20s, being in my friend’s newly purchased apartment—felt much more Adult to me. The big leagues. We don’t drink cheap beer any more. We drink nice wine. We don’t play drinking games. We converse over the aforementioned wine. The start of the transition

      • To this point it’s so interesting to see different people acting at different ages. I have friends 2-4 years older and they still go hard, hit the clubs, hit the strip clubs, do much more degen things. Age does seem to be just a number.

  • Caught up with Jess and some improv friends before she left the city. Post improv class we all hang out less but it’s good to catch up every now and then. The best factor for making lasting, closer friends seem to be proximity.

    • Somewhat related—All the people I hang out with consistently live within 20 minutes from me.

    • This year I explored making new friends by joining various activities (volleyball, improv, choir, sewing, jazz piano) and so far the only ones that I still see happen to live very close to me.

    • Chemistry + convenience + time = lasting friendship